Blinding Love
by CallMeAshleyThatsMyName
Summary: After a case goes wrong, Kate Beckett experiences an attempted rape. With the help of her friends and Castle, she works to overcome the after effects. Can Castle help her to overcome this? What does this mean for their future?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, I was in the middle of an exam which they decided to make 90mins long, but everyone finished in like 20 minutes, but yea, I basically wrote this in my head during that time and needed to get it out. This is my 2nd time writing fanfic and first writing for Castle, I hope you guys enjoy this. Oh and there was an incident where Beckett was almost raped, if that's a trigger for anyone, but I don't intend on going into the details of that, this is just what happens as a result. Thanks! Enjoy!

_Slowly, Kate began to regain consciousness and she became aware she was lying on something soft. Feeling nothing out of the ordinary she remained still with her eyes closed. Suddenly she felt something... someone grasp her leg, her bare leg and she became aware of the hushed talking, as a cop she was suddenly alert, moving to open her eyes, reach for her gun to take down the intruder. To her horror, she could not get her eyes open, as she felt the hand, moving further up her thigh, she began to panic and she realized no sounds would escape from her mouth, none but a small whimper._

_"Sssh,Kate, it'll be okay, don't fight it."_

_Kate felt the panic settling deeper into her bones when she realized she didn't recognize thr voice. Itwas soft, yet harsh, and cold and almost sinister. She fought desperately open her eyes, as she felt pressure on the most intimate part of her. Her eyes finally flew open and she made contact with a cold pair of eyes hovering just inches above her face and she realized with horror what was happening to her. The stranger, eased off of her realizing she was awake and she felt a stinging sensation on her thigh as she began to lose grip of consciousness. Feeling completely helpless, she attempted to scream for help, thanking every being when a blood curdling scream left her mouth. With the face of her attacker and the all to familiar voice yell her name burned into her memory as she slipped into darkness._

Kate bolted up in bed, clothes and hair sticking to her skin, by the cold sweat that was all but pouring from her. It had been weeks and she had only been getting bad from worse, she had only just started seeing someone, when she became tired of waking up, screaming, covered in sweat in the middle of the night, because of the same dream. It helped, she didn't completely lose it anymore, now she just cried until the tears would no longer fall. But she couldn't go through this another night alone.

Wiping furiously at the tears that were endlessly falling she reached for her phone. 3:36am. It was late, or rather, early, but he'd answer, he always answered her call. So she sat up in bed, trying to control her trembling body and hit the first number on her speed dial.

Castle groaned as he heard his phone vibrating on his night stand, reaching for it, he peeked at the caller ID and was wide awake instantly. There was only one reason Beckett would be calling him at such ungodly hours of the morning, not that he minded, he just wished it was for some other reason other than someone being murdered.

_"Murderers never sleep do they?" _He greeted, waiting for the sarcastic remark he would usually receive when they had early morning body drops. But it never came.

_Sniff._

Puzzled, Castle drew the phone fron his ears to look at the ID, making sure his eyes hadn't been playing games on him. Placing the phone back at his ears, he spoke.

_"Beckett? ... Kate? Are you there?"_

Just as he was about to hang up, figuring she had just dialed his number by accident, he heard a soft voice call out to him.

_"Castle."_

_"Kate? Kate are you crying? Is everything okay?"_

More sniffing. Castle was beginning to get worried, why was Kate calling him at 3 in the morning and more importantly, why was she crying?

_"Kate, come on talk to me." _

Castle spoke softly, worry taking over as he got up from his bed, walking over to his bathroom to find some clothes, if she didnt't speak he was wasting no time, he was going over there.

_"Castle, please." _

She spoke again, her voice cracking as he began to hear sobs, heavy sobs that usually progressed into full on crying.

_"Beckett, I'm on my way over there."I'll be there in 10 minutes."_

_"NO!" _

He was surprised at how forceful she sounded.

_"Please Castle. Don't leave me."_

_"You had a dream again didn't you?"_

He asked softly, his heart breaking for her. It had been almost 5 weeks since Kate had gone missing in middle of a case. He remembered solving the case, finding her, exposed, inches away from being violated in the most intimate way. He still had nightmares about it, but it was nowhere as bad as hers, couldn't be. She denied everything, said she would be fine, but Castle knew her better than that. He could see right through her smile, right through the make-up hiding the darkening circles under her eyes, he hears her crying in the bathroom, sees her crying in her and his heart breaks for her. He wants to help, but she refuses to let anyone in.

So, the fact that she is calling, asking for help or just company, he wasn't going to question it. Leaving a note for his mother and Alexis in case either woke up and couldn't find him.

_"I'm not going anywhere Kate, I promise."_

Sliding into his car and pulling out of the garage, speeding to Beckett's apartment, he realized she had started to cry and all he wanted to do was hold her and promise her he would never anything like that ever happen to her ever again.

Finally, he reached to her apartment, letting himself in with a key she trusted him with.

_"I'm here, I'm coming."_

Disconnecting the call, he locked her front door and made his way to her bedroom. Surprised when he found her curled up in a ball in the corner of the room, pulling on her hair, her phone discarded inches away from her. He made his way over to her, prying her fists from her hair, she immediately threw her arms around his neck as her body shook as she cried. Gently, he picked her up and sat on the bed, holding her as she cried, holding onto him tightly. Silently, he rubbed circles on her back, choosing not to speak, figuring she didn't want words, just company and comfort.

After awhile, her body calmed and her crying quited, as tears continued to pour silently down her face and unto his soaked T-Shirt. She relaxed her grip on him and looked up at him.

_"Thank you."_

He tightened his grip around her waist, lowering his head to kiss her forehead.

_"Sleep Kate, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you wake up."_

She buried her face into his shirt, inhaling deeply, letting the scent of him and the feel of his arm possessively around her lull her to sleep.

End A/N: So? How was it? Should I continue or does it suck so far? Leave your reviews! Thank you! If I get any encouragement, I'll be sure to update .. like tomorrow or something! I pretty much have it planned out. Let's just hope I don't lose the motivation. But you know what helps with motivation? Reviews! Thanks!

Ashley.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

A/N: Wow! Okay, I woke up to like a bunch of alerts and reviews and people following and favouriting, so thank you guys for that! As I promised, here's another chapter, it's short, but I'll try to update frequently. I apologize for any mistakes, grammatical errors or anything beforehand. I hope you guys like this chapter. Enjoy!

Castle remained still, holding Kate tightly to his side, breathing easier now that he felt her breathing even out and her body relax completely in his arms. She had fallen asleep and he could only hope now that he was here with her, she wouldn't be tortured by whatever lurked in her dreams that had her losing herself from time to time. Tracing designs on her arm, he looked down at her, her face peaceful, eyes closed, lips slightly parted, he could feel her warm breath on him as she slept.

For years Rick had dreamt of having the privilege of holding her, while she slept and as much as he loved holding her, feeling her breathe, feeling the warm skin of the love of his life, he hated the reason why. He didn't want her hurting, he wished he could take all the bad dreams from her, even if he had to endure them himself, anything to make her stop crying. The fact that she had broken down enough to put her independence aside and call him was not lost on him.

He leaned his head back to rest on the headboard, staring into the darkness his eyes had now adjusted to. His eyes scanned the room, he had been here before, but never long to store the image of her bedroom into his memory. His eyes landing on her dresser, in front of her bed, it was dark but he could make out various picture frames which he imagined would contain pictures of her mother or her father or both. Apart from picture frames, letters and a chest of some kind, her dresser was bare. Searching, his eyes landed on her night table, where another chest lay, with a picture of her mother and father on the cover, he imagined that was where she stored her weapon when she was asleep, easily accessible at any sign of danger.

In the silence, he heard a strange noise, looking around the room, he realized it was her phone, still discarded on the ground where he found her when he came in. He considered answering it, but not wanting to risk waking Kate, he decided to let it ring. Checking his watch, it was now 5am, realizing it must have been her alarm signaling the start of a new day at the precinct for her. Castle remained where he was, slowly dosing off when he heard her phone vibrating again, ignoring it until his own phone started to vibrate in his pocket, with as little movement as possible, he fished his phone from his pocket and answered without even checking his caller ID.

"Castle." He whispered.

"Uuuh, Castle? Why you whispering?" Ryan questioned, sounding way too chirpy for such hours of the morning.

"In sleeping company." Castle responded, leaving out the detail that his sleeping company was Kate, as he imagined she wouldn't want the guys at the precinct to find out about this.

"Okaay, well, I've been trying to call Beckett, we had a body drop about half hour ago, but she won't answer, so I figured I'll call you if you wanted to come since, y'know…" Ryan trailed off.

"I imagine she's sleeping, it's been a busy week for her, thanks Ryan, but I'm pretty tired, I may just sit this case out." Castle replied, looking down at Kate, who was mumbling something softly, her eyebrows knitting together.

"Uuh, Ryan, I gotta go, I'll talk to you later okay." Castle ended the call, not even registering he had interrupted something Ryan was saying, but he didn't care right now. What he cared about was the fact that Kate looked like she was having another nightmare. Feeling her body tense and her hand grip his shirt tightly, he shook her gently, before anything too drastic happened.

"Kate. Kate wake up." He shook her a little more forcefully until her eyes flew open. Sitting up immediately, her eyes frantically searched the room, before coming to rest on Castle, her eyes wide and panicked.

"It's okay, Kate, it's just me."

"Castle?" She whispered.

"Yea. Were you dreaming again?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You have to talk about it sometime Kate, come on, just talk to me?" He pleaded, hoping she'd trust him enough with the contents of her terrifying dreams, he just wanted to help.

"Just…. Not now." She replied, settling down in her bed, before Castle pulled her back against his body, feeling the need to protect her in any way he could, as if his body could keep the bad dreams away. Nodding, in the dark as if she could see him, he leaned back on the headboard, rubbing his hand up and down her arm in a soothing motion to send her back to sleep. Soon, he too fell asleep.

_Castle stumbled out of the bathroom, mumbling at how the 12__th__ seemed to always know the worst times to call him. He had just settled in his Jacuzzi, when his phone began ringing, he tried to ignore it, but it just would not stop ringing, groaning, he pulled himself reluctantly out of the tub, wrapping a towel around him, he went in search of his ringing phone._

"_Castle." He greeted, a bit too harshly._

"_Yo, Castle, you seen Beckett?" Esposito questioned ignoring Castle's harsh tone._

"_Umm, no I left her in the precinct garage like 2 hours ago." Castle replied, starting to worry, as he did anytime Kate could not be found._

"_We've been calling her phone and no answer, we figured she was with you, but you haven't seen her. Where the hell could she be?"_

_Even more worried than before, Castle asked._

"_Have you pinged her cruiser?"_

"_Hasn't left the precinct."_

_That was strange, where would Beckett just disappear to? He had left her in the garage just 2 hours ago, he had a meeting to go to and she had to get back to a case that involved a serial killer. She told him she'd be fine when he recommended she go home and sleep,that she looked like death. Complete with a classic Beckett glare, she sent Castle on his way. Now she was missing, she hadn't gone back up to guys and her car was still at the precinct. It was beginning to snow, there was no way Beckett would just walk somewhere and not answer her phone._

_Worry, settling deep into his bones, he told Esposito he'd be right over. Disconnecting the call, he quickly got dressed, grabbing a pair of jeans and a navy blue V-neck, long sleeved shirt, he grabbed his jacket, not caring how cold it was outside, Beckett was missing and he'd be damned if something happened to her because he wanted to keep toasty. _

_Practically running out of the elevator, into the bull pen, he came to a stop as Ryan turned to him, mouth open and eyes wide._

"_What? What is it?" Castle asked Ryan._

_Ryan!" He yelled, when Ryan just continued to stare at him in shock._

"_Yo." Epsosito, beckoned from his desk. _

_Castle immediately walked over to Esposito, his eyes as wide as Ryan's._

"_What is it? Did you find her? Why do you too look like that and why is no one answering me?" _

_Pointing to his computer screen, Esposito told him_

"_Bro. You gotta see this." _

End A/N: Okay, so I hope this was okay, it's short I know, but I wanted to give you guys something. I know it's early and as I said I do have the story more or less planned out, but if you guys have anything you want to see or don't want to see, please tell me. As much as I'm writing this for me, I'm writing it for you too So your reviews are welcome. I know there are mistakes in here cause I'm too lazy to read it over, to check for mistakes, so I apologize for that.

Ashley


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

A/N: Hello! Thank you guys so much for all your follows and reviews and kind words that motivated me to actually write more, I would have gotten this up earlier but I don't have a laptop, I use my brother's but he hasn't been home so I had to type this on my kindle, (which I hate doing) blah, but I didn't want to keep you guys waiting for so long. To Night'sImmortalShadow: Yes I did do that exam in like 20 minutes, but it was a short answer type of exam so all's good. To everyone else who reviewed thank you so much! Here's chapter 3, I hope you guys like it.

Slowly, she opened her eyes, feeling something warm pressed against her side. Unconsciously she moved closer to the source of warmth. Immediately she snapped open her eyes at the unfamiliar feeling, terrified she was about to re-live one of... no, the worst moment of her life. Until she felt the hand that was wrapped around her waist tighten, she relaxed, remembering she had called Castle last night. She was never gonna live this down, she thought to herself. Suddenly, she began to feel a bit smothered, so she tried to untangle herself from Castle's firm grip on her, which caused him to tighten his grip even more.

"Castle." She called softly trying to wake him. Nothing.

"Castle." She called again, louder, shaking his arm. Finally he stirred, peaking an eye open, he looked at her.

"Morning." He greeted her, a small smile on his lips as he closed his eye. "How are you?"

"Fine, but we need to get up." Sitting up, she glanced at her clock.

"Castle." He opened his eyes immediately at the tone of her voice, "why is it after 10?"

Deciding not to joke his way out of her question, be responded, "You didn't seem to be in the condition for work today, besides Ryan and Esposito can hold down the fort for a day. I didn't want to wake you."

She stared at him, her face blank. He hated when her face blanked, he had no idea what she was thinking, so he steeled himself for a classic Beckett verbal lashing that never came. Instead, she thoughtfully replied

"I should probably call Gates, tell her I'm taking the day..." she paused, looking around, "Where's my phone?" Pointing to the floor where her phone lay, he eased out of the bed.

"I'm gonna fix something to eat." He announced as he walked out of the room, leaving her to talk to Gates. Walking over to the fridge, he wondered to himself, was she going to act like this never happened? Like she didn't call him at 3am crying? Like he didn't hold her while she cried herself dry? Because that was not going to work for him. He needed her to talk to him, he wasn't going to let her deal with this on her own anymore, he wanted her to know he was there for her. He was always going to be there for her. Always. He desperately needed her to see that. He loved her and he was never going to let any harm come her way, which would be hard seeing she was the cop, but if it took throwing himself in front a bullet for her, he wouldn't need to think twice about it. She was his everything.

He was brought back to the present when Kate stepped into the kitchen, face free of tear stains, her hair pulled into a pony tail. He studied her face, she wore no make up, which made the dark rings under her eyes visible. Her face looked thinner, her cheeks hollow, her eyes dull, empty. Her loose sleep shirt barely hanging on to her hips. How hadn't he noticed before?

"Kate have you been eating?" He asked, worry evident in his voice. She shrugged, staring down at the floor.

"I haven't had time." She stated simply, as if her not eating was not a big deal, usually she at least ate one meal a day to keep some flesh on her bones, but now it seems all she has is the coffee he brings her in the morning and thinking back, she hasn't even been drinking that either.

"And how long have you haven't had the time to eat?" He asked, forcing himself to remain calm. She shrugged again.

"Few weeks."

"You haven't eaten, in weeks? Jeeze Kate, what are you trying to do? Starve yourself to death? Look at you, so thin."

She wrapped her arms around her torso, feeling self-conscious as Castle stared at her body intensely. She couldn't eat, she tried, it never stayed down, so she gave up, stopped feeling hungry. She had noticed her clothes were fitting looser and she just hoped no one would notice. Her therapist had, asked her about it. She just couldn't deal with food, she couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, could barely function at work without bursting into tears.

"Kate." Castle's voice was softer now. She looked up, to find he had invaded her personal space. He brushed his thumb across her cheek, bringing her attention to the the warm, wet tears rolling down her cheeks. She ducked her head, only to have him place his index finger under chin, tilting her head up, forcing her to meet his eyes. Her breathing hitched as she saw the way he was staring down at her, intense, yet gentle. She hated feeling so vulnerable, especially in front of people. Could she not hold herself together anymore damnit? She hated Castle seeing her this way, surely he wouldn't want her again after seeing her like this, so low and broken. She was so close to taking the chance with him, then this happened and now she's back at the bottom. She closed her eyes as she felt Castle's lips pressed in her hair.

"Please Kate, please eat?" He pleaded with her.

"Okay." She responded, she would try, he does so much for her, when he doesn't need to. He didn't need to come to her at 3 in the morning, didn't have to come back to her every time she yelled at him. He didn't have to do any of it and she was so thankful that he did, although she never tells him. So she would try.

For him, she would try.

So she let him slip her jacket on her and steer her out the door. She decided, she'd let him get away with this for a day, taking care of her as an unspoken thank you. Wrapping her scarf around her neck and digging her hands into her pocket, she stepped out of her building, followed by Castle. Finally bracing the cold, she finally registered how lightly Castle was dressed, was he not cold?

"Castle?"

"Hhmmm?"

"Are you not cold?" Smiling, slightly at her as they walked side by side to the nearest burger place.

"I don't really have time to worry about frostbite when people that I... care for are in need of my charming presence." He held his breath as he waited for her to reply, he had almost said that L word that he knew would have her running in the opposite direction of where he was trying to steer her to.

She remained silent for the rest of the walk. He stole glances at her every now and then. She looked conflicted, like there was a war going on in her head. She looked sad, like her heart was breaking. She looked hollow, like someone had robbed her of her soul and she looked thin oh so thin and he couldn't bear it anymore. They finally reached Remy's, Castle shivered as he stepped into the heated restaurant, moving over to their usual booth in the corner. The waitress immediately came over to then smiling.

"Detective Beckett! Rick Castle! I haven't seen you two in the longest while!"

"We've been busy, you're right, it's been a while" Castle replied, smiling.

"The usual I assume?"

"Yes thank you." He responded before Kate could object and order a salad or something. He hated to force her, but seeing her so thin, frightened him to no end. So when she made up her face at the sight of the burger the waitress place in front of her, Castle prepared himself to sit here all day until she ate at least half.

"Tell me something Castle." She spoke, interrupting his thoughts. He looked at her, raising his eyebrows to show her she had his attention.

"Why are you not rubbing last night in my face? Holding it over my head?"

He looked at her, shocked. Is that what she thought of him? Did she really think he'd take such a moment for her and use it to his advantage? Is this why she kept him at an arm's length? She thought he was that guy? He had to admit, that stung a little. He sipped his coffee as she picked at her fries, not eating it.

"Why should I? It wasn't a joke. You needed a friend Kate and I was so happy to be that friend." Reaching across the table, he took her hand in his. "Kate, you have to know if you ever need anything, you can always call me. I will never make fun of you. Ever. Please know that."

His eyes burnd into hers, begging her to understand the message he was trying to get across to her.

"So, you gonna eat these fries or what?" She asked, suddenly cheery, changing the subject. He slid back against the booth releasing her hand, popping a fry into his mouth.

"Nope. You are." He responded simply. He would let her change the subject now, but she couldn't avoid it forever. She eyed him and he stared back, unnerved. Her best interrogation glare was not going to get her out of this.

Silently, she picked up the burger eyeing it, before hesitantly taking a bite. Before he knew it, the plate was empty and she was in the middle of slurping down a chocolate milkshake, when Castle spoke, "hungry?" He smirked.

"Oh shut up Castle."

The rest of the evening passed by in light banter as Kate tried to keep her food down. Paying the bill and leaving a generous tip for the waitress, he watched as Beckett put her jacket, scarf and gloves back on. She looked so much better now, some colour had returned to her face and she looked less... hollow. What wonder eating one meal could have on a person.

Slowly, they made their way back to Beckett's apartment. When Castle announced that he couldn't stay, he had another book related meeting, he could swear she looked almost, disappointed?

"Thanks Castle. For everything."

"Always." He whispered, leaning in to kiss her cheek. Something she would have probably threatened to shoot him for in the earlier stages of their relationship. But not now, as Castle made his way down the hall to the elevator, she stepped into her apartment, leaning on her door, she reached up to touch her cheek, where Castle's simple kiss had burned though her. She wasn't sure she liked what she was feeling. She didn't know what she was feeling, but she knew she was feeling something.

A/N: So! There's chapter 3. What's the verdict? Love it? Like it? Hate it? Eh? Please tell me, but in a nice way. Feel free to voice your input, tell me what you want or don't want to see. Imma try for longer chapters, ya'll like long chapters don't you? Imma get on that, I have this scene in my head that I'm dying to write, but it's not time for it just yet and it's driving me a bit mad, so… yea Imma try update frequently. Once again, any errors in the story, grammatically or consistency, I apologize… I don't read over, I only scan, so please bear with me? I'm going on too long now, so I'm gonna go… work on another chapter for you guys. Thanks for reading! Leave me a review please! I love to know what you guys think

Ashley.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So! Here's chapter 4! Thank you to all those who have alerted, favourited and reviewed! You are why I continue this fic I'm trying to get to all the Caskett goodness for you, but I'm not feeling it yet, it has to be just right, ya know. So stick with me and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle… although I really wish I did.**

As much as it physically pained Castle to leave Kate alone, he needed to get his thoughts together. Just looking at her today, reminded him of their past years when they had both been in grave danger. Being locked together in a freezer, clinging to each other for dear life. Facing bombs countless amount of times, being driven off the road into the Hudson. Kate, in his arms, bleeding out, him begging her to hold on for him, finally admitting that he loved her. Now there was yet another event to add to that list, only, he hadn't been with her and that hurt. For weeks after, he blamed himself for this, for leaving. If he had been there, she wouldn't have been taken, wouldn't have been made to lay bare on a dingy mattress in a cold and dark basement. He still blamed himself, but seeing her, so vacant, so obviously not Kate, it hurt him like never before and he just had to be alone. She didn't need to see him breakdown. Now in the confines of his office, in his loft, that is exactly what he did.

Rick Castle was never afraid to cry, he just never had much reason to. But now, for the first time since the incident, he let it all out, glad he was home alone so no one would hear him lose himself. About an hour later and about ten glasses of scotch, Castle had passed out on his office couch as evening came down on him.

"_What is it?" Castle asked, eyes wide looking at the computer screen Esposito had now turned to him. Castle's heart stopped at what he saw playing out on the screen. Kate was just standing at the elevator doors, waiting for it to arrive on her floor, when a man, with a hood pulled over his head injected Kate with something in her back, immediately, she fell limp._

_Castle's throat felt dry as he swallowed, trying to calm his heart before it jumped out of his chest as he watched the man stuff her into the back of a black SUV and drove away. If Castle had been able to move, let alone blink, he would have missed the glimpse they caught of the uncovered license plate of the van._

"_There!" He yelled, when he finally found his voice, startling the other men. He pointed to the screen, as the video replayed._

"_The license plate, we can track him!" Castle stared at the screen, as the two detectives immediately got on the phone with tech and sent the video over to get a clearer image of the license._

"_No! You don't understand! I don't have time to wait a day for this! This is Detective Beckett we're talking about here!" Esposito yelled into the phone, looking like he was ready to break someone's neck._

"_Yea, that's what I thought." He spat into the phone, before he slammed it down. _

"_So?" Castle asked, daring to be hopeful at a time like this. He felt Ryan movie up beside him, waiting on Espo's response._

"_Tech said they'll have the images over in ten minutes, 'til then, we check the other camera's inside the garage and camera's in the area, see if we can get a hit. This son-of-a-bitch doesn't know who he's messing with." Esposito growled, his big brother trait showing, making Castle relax a little, not completely, just a little. They'd find her, he knew they would._

_Sure enough, ten minutes later, tech came through, presenting a clear image of the license plate of the perp who dared to kidnap Beckett._

"_Hang on Kate, we're gonna find you." Castle whispered to himself as Ryan searched through other traffic cam footage in search for a black SUV with these plates. _

"_Gotcha, you jackass." Ryan whispered, as the footage showed a black SUV with the same plates turning into a deserted house._

"_Let's go." Esposito demanded, holstering his gun and grabbing his jacket as Ryan and Castle followed him out of the room, on their way to rescue Kate Beckett._

Hours later Castle woke, looking at the clock he realized it was way past 9 and he had a massive headache. There was a glass of water on his table with a pack of Advil and a note. He picked up the note and read Alexis' perfect handwriting.

_Dad, I'll be with Paige tonight. There's dinner in the fridge. Here's a glass of water and Advil for you when you wake. I hope you and Beckett are okay._

_Love, Alexis._

Groaning, he pulled the Advil and downed the pills with the water. He lay back in bed, picking up his phone to text Kate, before he went back under.

"_Sorry I had to leave, I hope you're okay and please, eat. Goodnight Kate."_ He sent the message, putting his phone back on his nightstand as he turned on his side and drifted off to sleep, not aware of his phone vibrating, signaling Kate's reply.

After Castle left, Kate decided to curl up on her couch and watch a movie, she didn't focus on the movie, she just needed a distraction from her memories. She didn't want to bother Castle, whatever he was doing, but she do desperately wished he had stayed, although she would never admit that to him. After one movie, she realized this was not working, she turned off the TV, put in her earphones and decided to do some running on her treadmill that usually took off some of the edge.

It was after 5 in the evening when she collapsed on her couch, she was worn out from exercise, slowly, she drifted off to sleep. For once in a long time, she dreamt about something other than her usual dreams. She dreamt of Castle. She dreamt of Castle with her walking along a beach, holding hands and she was happy, they were both happy. With a small smile on her face, she slept until the phone in her pocket vibrated, jolting her awake. She looked around the room that was now dark, her eyes taking time to adjust to the darkness before she pulled her phone out of her pocket. She smiled as she read the message, her heart warming at his never ending concern for her. The concern that she was also so afraid of. Not wanting to address the fact that she had not eaten, knowing he would probably come back and force feed her, although that was not such a bad thing, she typed her reply:

"_Goodnight Castle & Thank You."_

She waited for him to reply, asking her about eating, or if she wanted him to come back, but a reply never came. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a bit disappointed, she knew he had other things to do and his life did no revolve around her. Glancing at the clock, it was a little after 9, no way he was asleep. She chose to ignore her feeling of disappointment, turned on the light beside her couch and picked up the book she had been reading, knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep again that night, she didn't even want to try.

Kate heard the distant sound of the elevator doors opening, she became aware of Castle's presence as he made his way to her desk, setting down a coffee and a bear claw, the usual. She looked up at him and was met with a look she could not describe. It looked as if he was pleading with her, but he was also concerned, understanding what the look was for, she took the coffee and took a sip, feeling him relax beside her, nudging the bag of pastry closer to her. She shook her head.

"Maybe later Castle." She whispered

"Kate." He pleaded softly, something in his voice made her look up at him again, really noticing his face. It looked much like hers had been for the past few weeks, hollow, with dark rings around his eyes. Maybe, she thought to herself, his night had been as terrible as hers.

"Okay." She gave in, just wanting to take that look off of his face. She took a generous bit of the pastry as Castle sat in his chair, taking a long swig of his own coffee.

"Bad night?" She asked without looking up at him, focusing on the files in front of her instead.

"Something like that." He responded, even his voice sounded hollow.

She had no idea. His night was filled with nightmares, he hadn't been there, so there was a lot left to the imagination. He dreamt they didn't make it in time, he dreamt she was violated and the life taken from her and that was the time they arrived, when Kate's lifeless body was all they could rescue to put right back into the ground. He dreamt the guy was laughing in his face, in all of their faces at their failure, laughing as they put him in a police car, laughing as they processed him, laughed as they threw him in jail. Laughing as Castle's everything left him.

"Yo! Beckett, taking an early vacation are we?" Esposito grinned as he entered the bullpen, spotting his boss and loyal side kick in their usual placed.

"No, Espo, just got tired of seeing your faces every day." Kate was quick with her response, not missing a beat, as if nothing was wrong. Following her lead, Castle slipped into his façade of the day. If she could pretend everything was okay right now, so could he.

"You want in on this case?"

"What you got?" She questioned, sitting up in her chair, grateful for any distraction.

"Charles Manley. Shot point blank in the head. His girlfriend found him in his apartment, called the cops. So far, we've only got two suspects, the brother and the girlfriend's father." Esposito filled her in, informing her they were bringing in both of them, if she wanted to join in on the interrogation. With a quick glance at Castle, who nodded slightly, she turned back to Esposito, who was waiting on her answer.

"Count me in."

**End A/N: So there's that, Love it? Hate it? Tell me please! I'm not planning to spend much time on the case, because I know I don't care for cases when I read fics but y'know… yea. So stick with me, I hope I can deliver what you wanna see, feel free to leave suggestions and a review! Thanks bye!**

**Ashley.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

**A/N: Once again thank you to all the reviews and views and favourites and follows! This chapter is a bit case heavy, but I promise it will be done soon! Hope it's okay. Enjoy **

Kate Beckett had never been so grateful for a case and yet so ready for it to be over. It had been two weeks since she joined this case and she had gotten barely any sleep at all. Of course, not sleeping meant she was spared of nights filled with terror, but at the same time, the frustration of not being able to solve this case was getting on her very last nerve.

Charles Manley, a 35 year old psychologist was found in his apartment by his girlfriend, Amelia Song with a single GSW to his head. At the time, the only suspects were the brother and the girlfriend's father but they both had alibis and now they were completely stuck. Every lead they had ran them right into a brick wall and it was doing nothing but pissing her off. They could find no link to drugs or anything else illegal, as far as they were concerned Charles Manley was a saint and apparently, had a child on the way.

Exhaling sharply, Beckett stared at the murder board in front of her, which was helping with nothing, the vein in her head pulsing and she felt a migraine coming along. She became aware of Castle's presence as he handed her a coffee, smiling, she took a long drink. She had been eating regularly again, or as regularly as she had before, which in truth wasn't regular, but it was something.

"Still nothing?" Castle asked, his voice carrying in the empty precinct. It was well after midnight and she had sent everyone home for the night, Castle refused to leave which came as no surprise to her. She didn't mind, she loved his company and his crazy insights might just help solve something and right now they needed all the help they could possibly get.

"I don't get it. Charles was a great guy, wasn't involved in drugs or anything illegal. None of his patients raised any red flags in the system and now he's dead. This doesn't make any sense Castle." She turned to Castle as he remained silent, his face thoughtful, lips pursed.

"I could really use your crazy insights here Castle." She said, getting his attention.

"Well, maybe he witnessed something or maybe it had something to do with that patient file that _went missing_." Castle responded, with air quotations over _"went missing"_. "Either way, it's late, we should get going."

"I think I'm just gonna stay here, maybe I'll think of something." She said moving around, to sit down at her desk, taking another sip of coffee, ignoring Castle who was staring at her.

"Are you sure?" He asked, concerned.

"Yea, I'll be fine." She smiled at him.

He didn't look convinced, but he didn't argue with her. Instead, he picked up his coat and rummaged around in its pockets for something. Kate held her breath as he pulled out a key.

"Here, I want you to have this, in case… y'know." He didn't have to say anymore, they both knew what he was referring to.

"Castle, I can't-" she started, only to have him cut her off.

"You can and you will." He was serious and it was clear there was no swaying his decision, she was too tired to argue, so she gave in and took the key.

"Thanks."

He nodded. "Night Kate." He called as he made his way to the elevator, keeping eye contact with her until the elevator closed its doors.

Once he was gone she turned her attention to the silver key in her palm, it felt heavy. A guy giving a girl a key to his house meant something and although she knew that wasn't the reason Castle gave it to her, she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. The thought of having her own key to his house, made her excited, scared and nervous all at once. Quickly, she stowed the key away in her pocket as she focused on the case in front of her. She needed to get this case solved.

"Maybe he witness something." Castle's words ran through her head. So far, that was the only theory that made sense. Maybe he witnessed something. But what?

Ryan and Esposito entered the precinct break room at 8am to find Beckett fast asleep on the couch and an empty coffee cup on the floor beside her.

"Should we?" Ryan asked as Esposito bent to pick up her coffee cup and place it in the sink.

"It looks like she was here all night. Let her sleep." He told Ryan, pulling him by his jacket out of the room to look at the murder board.

"Witnessed something?" Espo noticed Beckett's addition to the notes on the board. "What could he have witnessed?"

"I don't know, but it's a new angle, let's check it out." Ryan called as he booted up his computer. At the same time Esposito's phone chimed.

"That's Lanie, she got something. I'll head down to the morgue, you stay here and see if you can find anything." He instructed Ryan as he headed to the elevator, running into Castle as the doors opened.

"What are you doing here so early?" Esposito asked, surprised to see Castle's face in the precinct before 10.

"I had a theory, where's Beckett?" He responded, sounding a bit too excited for something relating to a murder.

"Asleep in the break room, run it by Ryan." He said as the elevator doors closed. Turning around he walked into the bullpen, setting Beckett's coffee on her desk before making his way over to Ryan, who was frowning at his computer.

"What?" Castle asked.

"I hate this case." Ryan muttered, without looking up from his computer.

"Yeah, you're not the only one." A voice called out.

"Beckett! You're up!" He greeted her excitedly.

"Why are you so excited? Did you have a sugar overload or something?" She quipped, taking a sip of the coffee he brought for her.

"No!" Castle pouted "I had a theory, about your case."

Beckett stared at him for a minute, before motioning with her hand for him to go on.

"What if, that patient file that "went missing" is the key? What if that patient didn't like doc's diagnosis and so he killed him and then stole the file so it wouldn't come back to him?" He stared at Beckett, waiting for her to respond. She squinted her eyes and pursed her lips as she thought.

"Could be, but who's the patient? Ryan, can you go through all of the footage from the security tapes outside Charles' office and match each person to each file we have on record." She instructed Ryan.

"And what are we gonna do? Go undercover?" Castle jumped up, excitedly.

"Down boy. No. I need to talk to you." She gave him a knowing look and walked back into the break room, expecting him to follow. Ryan looked up from his work, giving Castle a worried glance.

"Whoa, what'd you do this time?"

"I really have no idea." Castle replied as he made his way to the break room.

"You needed to see me?" Castle asked, Beckett's back was to him and when she turned, he saw the key he gave her in her hand.

"The night's over Castle, you can take your key back now." She said, handing him back the key.

"I can't." He said simply, "It's your key." Her eyes bulged.

"Castle, I'm not your girlfriend, I shouldn't have a key to your loft." She whispered fiercely.

She could be.

"You know that's not why I gave you the key Kate." He said softly, taking a step closer to her.

She knew why he gave her the key, but she couldn't help feel like it was for another reason, another reason she would love.

"I'll call if I need you Castle." She admitted quietly, staring at the floor.

"That's the thing, I won't be here." He stated. Her head snapped up, what did he mean he won't be here? Was he leaving her alone? No, that couldn't be it, he gave her his loft key, that would make no sense if he was leaving her. She took a deep breath.

"What do you mean you won't be here?" She asked shakily, she cursed herself silently for not being able to keep her voice steady.

He invaded her personal space and dragged his hands down her arms, she shivered at his touch and felt disappointed when he drew his hands back, as if he expected her to be mad at the motion. She wasn't.

"I have to go to California for about a week for some promotional crap. So I won't be here." He answered, looking down into her eyes. "I don't want you to be alone, if something happens."

He was being sweet, too sweet and she cursed herself for wanting to cry right now. Looking into his eyes, she was frightened with what she saw, his concern, his sympathy, his love. She broke eye contact, shaking her head before looking down.

"So, what? If something happens I'm just supposed to let myself into your home, what about Martha and Alexis?" She asked him, still staring intently at the ground. She felt him place his hands on her arms once again and she began to think how good it would feel if those arms were wrapped around her and –

"I already spoke to them." He responded before her thoughts could get carried away.

"What'd you tell them?" She wondered, not sure if she was okay with his family knowing how incapable she was of sleeping alone most nights.

"That you had a situation and might need to stay at the loft sometimes."

Okay. She could deal with that. In a way, she was touched, if he had to leave, he had thought of her.. situation. She really didn't want to be alone, but she wasn't going to intrude on his family if it wasn't necessary, but she appreciated it nonetheless.

"Thank you." She whispered, looking up into his blue eyes once again.

"Always." He smiled.

Not wanting to risk getting lost in those blue eyes in the middle of the precinct, she took a step back and busied herself with the coffee machine.

"When do you leave?" She tried to sound nonchalant.

"Tomorrow morning." She almost spilled the coffee she was pouring.

"So soon?"

"What? You're gonna miss my ruggedly handsomeness and my charming personality?" He joked. Leave it to Castle to be able to lighten the mood with his ever growing ego.

"Yea, don't bet on that." She rolled her eyes as she strode back out into the bullpen.

"Got anything Ryan?" She asked, as she and Castle seated themselves at her desk.

"Not yet." He grumbled, staring at his computer.

"I think I do!" Esposito yelled, running off the elevator.

"Where've you been?" Beckett asked, amused.

"Lanie texted, said she got something." He slapped a picture up on the murder board. "This guy's DNA was found under the fingernail of the victim, Lanie didn't know how she missed it at first, but Kyle Newman, 29 years old. Couple assault charges, B&E's and indecent exposure."

"Who knows, maybe he got bored and upgraded to murder. Let's go get him." Beckett nodded to Castle as she stood to grab her jacket.

"Mr. Newman! NYPD! Open up!" Beckett yelled as she knocked on the apartment door for the 3rd time. Glancing at Esposito, she nodded and backed away from the door.

Kicking the door down, Beckett, Esposito and Castle made their way into the apartment. Beckett and Esposito separating, guns drawn, checking each room before announcing it was clear. The room was neat, too neat, Castle would bet his entire income from Nikki Heat that CSU would find no finger prints as he registered the scent of bleach floating in the air.

Sure enough as CSU arrived 10 minutes later, not a single fingerprint could be found. There was nothing out of place in the apartment, no weird pictures or items or anything. Beckett was only getting more frustrated with this case when her cell phone rang.

"Beckett." She answered a little too harshly.

"I got a hit on the missing file and patient. The missing file belonged to Josh Francis." Ryan spoke quickly.

Beckett's heart rate picked up speed and she froze on the spot. Her mouth felt dry. This did not go unnoticed by Castle, who was staring at her worried. She finished listening to what Ryan had to say before disconnecting the call, her hand dropping limp by her side. She turned to Castle with her mouth open.

"What? What is it Kate?" He prodded.

"Josh Francis. Josh Francis was the patient with the missing file." She told him, finally finding her voice.

"Josh Francis, the man who almost…. Hurt you?" He said, his voice filled with hate. She nodded, feeling absolutely numb.

"He escaped prison."

**End A/N: So? Let me know what you think. I don't know when Imma update again… I don't have my own computer and my brother destroyed his. I can write but my kindle won't let me log in for some reason so, whenever I can hijack my mom's laptop. Hope this chapter was okay. If not, tell me. Anything you wanna see tell me. Thank you!**

**Ashley**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So, I meant to upload this on Christmas as a Christmas gift to you all, but… I got distracted and didn't write anything. So here's a Boxing Day gift for all of you. To all of you who are still with me! To those joining, to those who are so kind to review and follow and favourite, I thank you very much and send a big virtual hug your way. To the guest that asked about my accessibility to a laptop or a public library, well, we have one, but you see… It sucks and isn't close to me. No worries though, I just have to remind my mom to bring her laptop home at the end of every work day, like I said, I can still write, it's just the uploading part. No worries! So here's Chapter 6. It's basically all Kate.. Well, it is all Kate. Enjoy!**

_Castle followed Esposito and Ryan and a backup team down a dark stairway, doing their best to keep quiet so as to not alert the kidnapper of their presence. They had found the abandoned building in a matter of minutes and sure enough, there was the black SUV with matching plates covered up a black tarp. Signalling to Ryan, Esposito headed the team into the building. Castle's heart was racing, thumping so hard and loud in his chest, he wondered if the others could hear it. He couldn't help it as his imagination ran away, imagining the worst scenes they could stumble upon, all of which involved Kate Beckett, the love of his life, dead, all because they could not find the kidnapper sooner._

_Moving through a dark hallway, Ryan pointing to the door at the end, which had light flickering from under the door, they assumed it was a flashlight or some other source of light. As they made their way silently down the hall, pointing their guns into each dark room they passed, until they reached the door. They spread out against the wall, as Esposito leaned in, pressing his ear to the door, listening for any evidence of life beyond the door. He looked around to Ryan and then to Castle, nodding slightly, indicating there was sound coming from the room. He positioned himself to kick the door in, at that moment, they heard a blood curdling scream from inside the room, immediately, Esposito kicked the door in, as the team swarmed the room, guns drawn._

_Castle's heart stopped as he saw the scene in front of him. There she was, stripped of all clothing, on a dingy mattress, legs spread. Hovering over her was a white male, with a sinister smile on his face, just inches away from entering her. Regaining his voice, he yelled out._

"_Kate!" As he ran to tackle the creep who kidnapped her, delivering blow after blow to his face until Ryan, Esposito, or someone force Castle off of him, he didn't know who, his attention was focused on Beckett who seemed to be unconscious. Grabbing any piece of cloth he could find, he covered her, lifting her body into his arms. He could feel her pulse, it was weak, but it was there, at least she was still alive. _

"_There's an ambulance waiting outside." He heard Ryan say from somewhere, he didn't know. He just headed out the door and out of the building with Beckett in his arms, her head cradled on his shoulder as her arms hung limp. As he made his way out of the building, he saw the flashing lights as a team of paramedics ran over to him with a gurney, which he placed her gently on. The medics got to work immediately, checking her pulse and breathing as they loaded her into the back of the ambulance. Castle followed right behind, stepping up in the ambulance to go with her to the hospital, despite the paramedics arguments. _

"_I'm not leaving her." He told them, jaw clenched, doing all he could to hold back his tears. He left her alone once and look what happened, no, he wasn't going to leave her right now. He watched her the entire trip to the hospital, feeling a wave of rage rush over him. He should have done more damage to her attacker. How would she ever recover from this? He wondered to himself. Kate was strong, but was she this strong? He knew she would try, but she couldn't do it alone and he wasn't going to let her. He was going to be right there with her. _

Kate stepped into the building she had been visiting twice a week, doing her best to control her breathing and her tears that were now falling silently down her cheeks. She walked through the lobby, heading straight to the receptionist desk.

"Dr. Burke please." She told the receptionist, who looked up and smiled.

"Hello, Kate, Dr. Burke will be with you in five minutes." She nodded to the chairs on the opposite side of the desk. "You can take a seat."

Kate nodded and took a seat. She leaned her head back on the wall and closed her eyes. She regretted that immediately, as the first thing she saw was his face, Josh's face laughing at her. She had been getting better, but now he was on the loose and she just didn't know what to do or where to go. She had ran out of Josh Newman's apartment, much to Castle and the rest of her team's surprise, wiping furiously at the tears that came as they called after her.

She got in her car and began to drive, she didn't even know where she was going, she just drove until she was parked outside of the grey twelve story building. She sighed deeply, resting her head on the steering wheel which she was gripping so tightly, her knuckles threatened to burst through the skin there. She got out of the car and headed into the building, stepping on the elevator thanking God she was alone, she pressed the button for the 7th floor which was home to a bunch of medical services.

"Dr. Burke will see you now." She opened her eyes to find the receptionist, looking at her, nodding towards the doctor's office. She stepped inside and closed the door, facing the door until she heard someone clear their throat.

"Have a seat Kate." Dr. Burke's voice came, her body relaxed immediately as she turned to face him. She moved towards the large brown chair in the middle of the room, kicking off her shoes and bringing her feet up underneath her.

"How are you Kate?" He asked, eyes focused on her, through his glasses. He sat opposite her, in a brown leather chair, with one ankle on his knee. She stared out the window for a good moment, while he waited for her to speak. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft and filled with fear.

"He got out." Was all she said, immediately Dr. Burke sat up in his chair.

"Mr. Fancis?" He asked, eyebrows raised. Kate nodded.

"And you're afraid." He concluded.

She was afraid. She was terrified beyond words. What if he was coming after her? They didn't even know why he came after her in the first place, he had refused to speak when he was caught. Now he was free and she was afraid, but she could not afford to be, she had a job to do. She didn't know how she was going to manage going out to work every day, being out in the open, she didn't know if she could do it.

She nodded her attention on the statue that stood on the table beside the chair she was in. Usually Kate would never admit to these things, but in here, with Dr. Burke, she felt safe, she would admit to anything.

"Does he know?" He asked.

She nodded again.

"And what did he do?" She looked up at him.

"I don't know. I ran away. I came straight here." She answered, shrugging. Sensing she had something else to say, he kept quiet, giving her the time to open up.

"He's going away for a week." She spoke finally, "He gave me a key to his loft, in case I needed company." She smiled slightly then. Castle, always looking out for her.

"Are you going to use it?"

She stared out the window again, thinking about it. She didn't plan to, but now, her attacker was out on the loose, he wasn't going to be here to call him in the middle of the night. There was Lanie, but, she wasn't Castle. She didn't know what she was going to do, so she shrugged.

"Let him help you Kate." Dr. Burke told her.

"I'm trying." She answered sadly. She really was, but now…

For the next half hour, Dr. Burke listened while she expressed her fears, of being kidnapped again, of not being found in time, of being alone, of being in public and mostly if Castle wouldn't wait for her as she worked her way through this.

"You know he will." Dr. reasoned.

"But what if he doesn't?" She asked, the question obviously rhetorical.

"Tell you what, if he loves you, he will wait and Kate, he loves you." He smiled, making her smile as well, but still she wasn't sure.

When she was back in her car, she checked her phone and of course Castle had texted her, 23 times. There was a message from Lanie and Ryan too. She put her phone down, deciding to check her phone later, she needed to get home, she surely wasn't going back to the precinct today, captain be damned.

When she got home, she looked around her parking garage carefully before stepping out of her car and quickly made her way over to the elevator. Pressing the button for her floor, she breathed a sigh of relief. She finally reached her floor and practically ran to her apartment door, looking around the hall to see if anyone was witnessing this unusual act from her. Seeing no one, she let herself into her apartment and leaned back against the door, exhaling sharply. She opened her eyes and took a step into the room, tilting her head slightly, her heart sped up and she could hear it pounding in her chest. Something felt off, but she couldn't place it. Instead of taking a step into the room and drawing her gun as her detective training told her, her fight or flight senses leaning heavily on flight, she bolted back through the door, with her attacker on the loose she wasn't risking it.

She flew down the stairs, and back out into the parking garage, she got into her car and sped off towards the only place she would feel safe right now. Castle's loft. Ensuring the key he gave her was still in her pocket she exited the car and made her way to Castle's loft. Reaching the door, she heard voices inside, she contemplated leaving, she didn't feel right intruding on Alexis and Martha. Hoping Castle was inside, so she wouldn't have to explain herself, she knocked on the door. It was opened immediately by Alexis, who drew her into a tight hug immediately, surprising Kate. Before she could even speak, Alexis dragged her inside and sat her down on Castle's large sofa in his living room. Martha was seated at the kitchen counter, watching her with a worried expression on her face. Suddenly, Kate felt uncomfortable.

"Kate, are you okay?! Where were you?" Alexis asked, fear pouring out of her voice.

"I-"Kate started, unsure of what to say. She closed her mouth and took a deep breath, "Where's your dad?" She asked, hoping to get out of this awkward situation. What Alexis said next, she wasn't prepared for.

"Plane bound to California. He said he texted you." Alexis informed her.

What? Castle was gone? He said he was leaving in the morning, how could he be gone? She didn't know what to do now and she felt weird sitting here in Castle's loft, with no Castle. How could he be gone? At a moment like this? She felt selfish, she had automatically thought with the news, he would stay. He had a job too, she often forgot and it wasn't following her around.

"What?" She breathed.

"Are you staying?" Alexis asked, ignoring her question, looking around for a bag, eyebrows furrowing when she found none, she turned her eyes back to Kate, who was still a bit in shock.

"Uuumm, no. I just- I just came- actually I don't know why I came. I should get going." She rushed, standing up from the couch and making to leave.

"Nonsense dear!" She heard Martha say from her spot at the kitchen counter. "With this creep out on the loose, there is no way Richard would have you staying in that apartment all alone! And we wouldn't either. Now there's a guest room upstairs, if you're not comfortable using Richard's room and I'm sure Alexis can lend you some overnight clothes."

Kate stared at Martha, feeling blindsided by the woman. Suddenly she felt defensive when she heard her say Castle wouldn't have her stay in her apartment alone. The independent side of her feeling irritated as she felt Castle had no say in whether she wanted to stay at her apartment or not, she hated him making that kind of decision for her. At the same time, she realized she did not want to stay at her apartment alone, especially with it feeling so… off.

"Please Kate?" Alexis pleaded, taking a step closer.

"Okay." Kate responded, that's all she could say, she didn't know what else to say.

So she was led upstairs by Alexis, who gave her a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie when Kate told her she was not going back to work that day and taken to the guest room. Alexis showed where everything was before leaving Kate to her own thoughts.

Sitting down on the bed, she wondered to herself, what just happened? The day wasn't even over yet and she already went through a lot. Remember Alexis had said Castle texted her, she pulled out her phone from her coat and went through the messages Castle had left for her and there was now four more messages.

"_Kate, are you okay?"_

"_Kate where are you?"_

"_I know it's not my place, but I'm really worried about you."_

"_Kate, please answer me, I'm going mad here. Spare me?"_

"_Look, I know you're afraid, let me help you."_

"_Kate, please answer me."_

The following 14 messages followed the same tone, Castle was worried and wanted to know how she was and where she was. She couldn't help the little flutter in her stomach at the thought of Castle's concern for her. She finally got to the messages where he was telling her of his leaving.

"_Kate, bad news. Not about your kidnapper. But umm, Paula called and apparently my flight was rescheduled and I leave in an hour."_

"_I'm sorry, I tried to get out of it, but they threatened to sue."_

"_I promise, I'll be back as soon as I can get out of here."_

"_Please don't do anything reckless."_

"_I will hate myself forever if anything happens to you."_

"_I told Martha and Alexis to expect you. I hope you take me up on my offer to stay at the loft, especially now."_

"_We're taking off. I'll be back soon, I promise you Kate. See you soon."_

Kate couldn't help the overwhelming sadness that washed over her as she read Castle's message. He was gone for a week, this was probably the worst time he would have had to leave. Shaking her head of that selfish thought, she stood, taking the clothes Alexis had given her and making her way to the shower. Maybe, she thought a long, hot bath would help ease some of her tension. She stood in the shower for a good hour, just having the warm water run over her, her tears mixing in with the water and the sound of the shower drowning out the sobs that escaped her lips every now and then. She heard a knock at the door, turning off the water, she became panicked, until she remembered where she was and that she was safe here.

"Kate? You in there?" She heard Alexis' timid voice call.

"Yea, Alexis, I'm just taking a shower." Kate called back.

"Okay," she could hear the girl relax just from the sound of her voice, "Well, we ordered pizza for dinner, I was wondering if you wanted us to wait for you?"

Kate contemplated it, she felt hungry, but at the same time, she didn't feel to eat, she just wanted to sleep, so she declined.

"No thanks Alexis, I'm not hungry." She called to the girl.

"Okay, well I'll leave you two slices in the microwave in case you get hungry." She responded as she walked away from the door.

Kate shook her head. Like father like daughter. Only Castle would probably tie her to a chair and feed her. She shook her head again to get the image of Castle tying her to anything out of her head, now was not the time for that. She stepped out of the shower, drying her hair before she slipped into the clothes Alexis gave her. She was just about to pull the hoodie over her head, when she spotted a shirt folded on the dresser by the bed. It wasn't there before, she would have noticed. She took up the shirt and instantly identified it as one of Castle's shirts, before she knew what she was doing, she drew the shirt to face, inhaling deeply. It smelled like Castle. She smiled to herself, pulling the shirt over her head, she settled into the bed under the silk sheets Castle was so fond of. She felt a sense of calm, as if she was surrounded by Castle. She would thank Alexis for this one day.

**End A/N: This is my longest chapter, woot! I hope you guys like it? If you do, if you don't leave a review and tell me why? I love to hear what you guys want. This chapter was about Kate, but no worries, we'll get Castle in the next chapter and other people of course. Don't hate on Castle for leaving okay! He'll be back soon! So, yea, leave a review? They're good motivation, y'know ;) Anyways, I'll be gone now! I hope you liked it!**

**-Ashley **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay so, school starts in like… a week, I'm hoping to get somewhere in this before school starts… UGH I HATE SCHOOL. Anyway, this chapter is like… Castle's POV basically of what happened when they found creepy creep escaped prison, maybe more… If I feel so inspired… As usual, I thank everyone who spends their time to read this and leave a review or follow or favourite, I appreciate you! So here's another chapter before the New Year. Maybe I'll write another before New Year's … We'll see. Enjoy. **

Castle watched as Kate's eyes widened in fear and before he knew it, she had turn towards to door and ran. He called after her, for her to stop, but she just ran. He contemplated following but a hand on his chest prevented him from doing so, he looked up at the owner of the hand to Esposito shaking his head.

"Give her some time." He told Castle, who stared at the spot Beckett had been standing not too long ago. He couldn't believe this was happening to her, silently he cursed the universe for not giving her a break in her life. He wondered when would things ever work out for Kate Beckett, her captor was now on the loose, the same captor that caused her to spiral downwards and just as she was working her way back up, she was knocked down again.

Before he knew it, he was following Esposito back into the bullpen, a small part of him hoping he'd see Beckett sitting at her desk and none of this had actually happened, but he knew he wouldn't. He had sent a few texts to her on the ride back to the precinct, hoping she'd reply, but she hadn't. He watched as Esposito and Ryan went through the details of Josh's escape, but his mind was on her, he needed to know if she was okay, he needed to be with her, she shouldn't be alone at a time like this, both for emotional reasons and safety. He was not ready to get the news that she had been kidnapped again and that was all he could think about, he swore on his life he wasn't going to let anything like that happen to her again, if only she would just respond to him.

At that moment, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and without even looking at the caller ID he answered.

"Kate" He breathed, relieved.

"Nope, sorry babe, not Kate." Castle's eyes flew open at the sound of the other person's voice.

"Paula?" He asked confused.

"The one, the only. So change of plans, you're scheduled to fly out to California tonight in a few hours, so wrap up your little police fantasy and get packing Ricky." She ordered him.

Castle just gaped at the phone. Leave? He couldn't leave now, not with all of what was going on now.

"I can't leave Paula." He told her.

"Listen Rick, you're not a cop, you're a writer, I don't care about whatever case it is you think you're helping them with down there, your actual job, the one that maintains your lifestyle needs you." She scolded.

"Kate needs me Paula." He answered her, looking around to make sure no one could hear.

"Rick. If you don't show up, they'll sue and these people don't play." She informed him, "You have two hours to be at the airport, be ready." She hung up, leaving Castle at a loss of what to do. Usually he wouldn't care about being sued, not for Kate, not for people he cared about, but Paula was right, these people don't play, he couldn't afford to be sued by them.

Castle took a deep breath and stood up, gaining the attention of the other two detectives.

"That was my, uh, my publicist, I have to fly out to California in two hours." He informed them.

"You serious bro? Now?" Esposito asked, raising an eyebrow, aware of all the times Castle got out of promotional business.

"They threatened to sue if I don't show up." He told them sadly, turning and walking towards to elevator. "Take care of her for me, I'll be back in a week." He told them before stepping onto the elevator.

Ryan and Esposito exchanged glances and got back to work, determined to find this bastard, they weren't going to let him hurt their friend again.

Castle stepped into his loft 15 minutes later, to be met by his mother and Alexis, who were staring up at him with worried faces.

"What?" He asked them.

"Is she okay?" Alexis asked, "We heard about Josh's escape."

"Wha- how?" Castle asked as Martha pointed to the now muted TV that was playing a report about his escape, offering a reward for his capture.

"So?" Martha spoke, snapping his attention from the Tv, back to them. "How is she? Where is she?"

"I umm- " Castle started, not sure of what to tell them, "I don't know, she ran out and won't respond to my texts." He checked his phone again, still nothing.

"And to make things worse, Paula called and apparently I have to leave in-" He checked his watch, "an hour and 40 minutes." He sighed, slumping down on a chair, running his hands over his face and through his hair.

"You can't leave alone now dad" Alexis spoke up, concern evident in her voice.

"I don't have a choice." Castle moaned into his hands.

"Well invite her to go with you." Martha suggested. Castle snickered at that suggestion.

"Mother, do you not know Kate Beckett? She would never up and follow me across the continent for any reason, unless I drugged her, even then, she'd shoot me." He told her. It wasn't a bad thought, to have her come with him, that way she'd be safe, if only for a little while, but he knew she'd never go for it, she was far too independent for that.

Standing up, he motioned to his office.

"I'm gonna go pack my stuff and try to contact her again." He said, turning to his office and pulling out his phone to send her more texts.

Half hour later, he was being hugged by Alexis and waved off by his mother as he loaded himself and his luggage into a chartered car and headed off to the airport.

His mind was on Kate the entire ride to the airport. He wondered where she was, how she was, was she alone? Why won't she answer? He tried to shake the answer his mind gave him to the latter question. He took out his phone once again to inform her of his situation, promising he'd be back as soon as possible. He begged her to stay safe and to stay at the loft if she wanted. He had told Martha and Alexis to expect her and he hoped she would show up eventually, so she'd at least have some company if he couldn't be there for her.

Admittedly, Castle felt like the worst person in the world for leaving at a time like this and just hoped nothing would happen to her in his absence, he'd never forgive himself if something happened to her. When they finally reached the airport, Castle got out of the car thanking his driver and made his way through all the checkpoints before he sat down in his seat on the plane. He took a deep, shaky breath remembering the events following her previous kidnapping.

_They had finally arrived at the hospital, immediately unloading Beckett and rushing her to the emergency room. As they crossed the red line in the hospital that no one except essential personnel could pass, one of the nurses placed a hand on Castle chest, stopping him in his tracks._

"_You have to stay here sir." The nurse told him._

"_No. I have to stay with her!" Castle yelled, trying to get pass the nurse, but she had effectively blocked his path and Castle didn't dare think of knocking her over to get around her._

"_When she is out, I will call you, but for now, you have to stay in the waiting room like everybody else." The nurse warned, her voice firm and Castle knew he couldn't persuade her. He stared down the hall as the gurney that Beckett laid on, unconscious was loaded into the elevator._

"_Okay." Was all Castle could say as the nurse hurried down the hall and into the waiting elevator. Castle watched until the doors closed, even for a little while after before making his way over to the waiting room, sinking down in one of the chairs, his head in his hands. _

_Two hours passed, with Castle pacing a hole in the waiting room. Some persons seemed to have recognized him, but because of the evident distress he was in, decided to leave him be which he was thankful for, he just couldn't deal with anyone right now. Finally he saw the same nurse from enter the waiting room, motioning for him to come._

"_Where is she? Is she okay?" He asked, worried as the nurse led him down a hall before stopping at a door. She turned to him before opening the door. _

"_Mr. Castle, she is fine, but I am afraid she is still unconscious because of the drugs in her system." She told him, opening the door. He immediately ran over to her bedside, she looked so un-Beckett like. He grabbed her hand as he sat down in the chair beside her bed, using his free hand to remove some hair that had fallen in her face. The nurse, feeling that he needed some privacy stepped out of the room, closing the door softly behind her._

"_Oh Kate." He breathed, tears appearing in his eyes. "I shouldn't have left you, this would never have happened to you." He brought her hand to his mouth, kissing her knuckles softly, running his hand through her hair as he let his tears fall silently. He was just so glad they found her before the guy could have gone further. He didn't know how she would move on from this, if she would even move on from this. _

_Castle heard the door open a little while after, he looked up at the man in white scrubs. He looked to be in his mid-thirties with a healthy head of black hair that was slicked back._

"_Hello Mr. Castle, I am Dr. Harris, Kate's doctor." He greeted, checking Kate's machines that was monitoring her vitals, seeming satisfied with them, the Dr. focused on Castle._

"_She's going to be okay." The doctor told Castle, "Physically at least. She was injected with Rohypnol, a heavy dosage, but it should be out of her system in a few hours, she is expected to wake up then."_

_Castle nodded, looking down at her, feeling his heart break._

"_Will you be staying?" the doctor asked._

_Castle nodded._

"_Usually we don't allow anyone but family to stay with a patient, but in this case…" The doctor trailed off giving Castle a knowing look as he left the two of them in private, not before informing Castle that he would be back in an hour to check on her. _

_Castle used this time to call the precinct and Kate's father, informing them of what was going on, still holding on to her hand. He wasn't planning on letting go until she woke up._

"Sir, Sir!" Castle was brought back to the present by a flight attendant who was staring at him expectantly, "You need to shut off your electronics, we're about to take off." She told him, pointing to the phone he had in his hand.

Checking once again if Beckett had responded, feeling disappointed and worried seeing that she didn't. He sent off one last text to her, before shutting his phone off.

"_We're taking off. I'll be back soon, I promise you Kate. See you soon." _

He reclined his seat and dozed off to sleep for the rest of this 5 and a half hour flight to California.

Kate was woken up two hours later by knocking at her door. She sat up in the bed, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the now dark room, she realized she was in Castle's guest room and the knocking on the door hadn't stop. She cleared her throat before answering.

"Yeah?" She called out.

"You have a phone call." She heard Alexis called from the other side of the door.

Kate wondered, who would know she was at Castle's loft and who would call her here even. She slipped out of the bed and opened the door, noticing Alexis small smile as she realized she was wearing her father's shirt she had brought up for her. Kate took the phone and watched as Alexis went back down the stairs before answering.

"Hello?" She answered hesitantly.

"Hey girl, how you been?" She instantly relaxed as she recognized the voice on the other line.

"Hey Lanie, I'm…. something." Kate answered, not wanting to lie but not willing to admit she was terrified either.

"I figured as much." Lanie replied

"How'd you know I was going to be here?" Kate wondered.

"I called everywhere else and you weren't there, so naturally I called Castle to see if he knew where you were, but Alexis told me he was on his way to California and you were there." Lanie explained, waiting for Kate to answer.

"Oh." Kate replied, she didn't know what else to say.

"Look, the guys are on top of this okay? He's not gonna get to you." Lanie comforted her, but Kate wasn't convinced.

"How can you be so sure Lanie? I mean, he got me once, what makes you think he can't get me again?" Kate asked, chewing the inside of her cheek.

"Last time, the bastard didn't have the entire 12th precinct hunting him down like the filthy animal he is. You'll be fine Kate, I swear on Javi's life." Lanie swore solemnly and Kate couldn't help but to laugh.

"I hope you're right Lanie." She whispered.

"I am." Lanie assured her.

They talked for a few minutes more before Kate decided to venture downstairs and face Castle's family. She looked at herself in the mirror, making sure she didn't look like a mess, she washed her face and made her way out of the room and down the stairs. Her stomach rumbling as she smelled pizza. She spotted Alexis in the couch watching some movie on the Tv.

"Hey Alexis, where Martha?" She asked the girl.

Alexis turned to her, a smile appearing on her face.

"Oh she went out, so it's just you and me." Alexis smiled. Kate's stomach chose that moment again to rumble, drawing a laugh from Alexis.

"You must be hungry." She said, "Pizza's where I said it would be."

"Thanks." Kate smiled as she made her way to the kitchen, warming up the two slices Alexis left for her.

"Wanna watch Sherlock with me?" Alexis asked, as she walked into the kitchen, refilling her glass with iced tea.

Kate really wasn't up for doing much, but she figured a little company would be nice. So she agreed. Alexis poured her a glass of iced tea as Kate made her way over to the couch with her pizza, finishing it before Alexis could even switch to Sherlock.

"Wow. You were hungry, I should've left more." Alexis shook her head. Kate smiled sheepishly as she shrugged.

"It's okay, this is enough, thank you." Kate told the girl as she pulled her feet up beneath her, getting herself comfortable to watch Sherlock.

Two episodes later, Beckett found herself on the edge of the chair with Alexis, well engaged in the show. Forgetting about all the drama that followed her and waited for her.

**End A/N: Personally, Idk, I didn't fancy this chapter all that much, but I tried, so I'll give you another chapter before new years…. If you're still interested that is. So go on now, click that review button, you know you want to! **

**Ashley **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: What is this? Another update in the same day? What? Well yes, you guys are awesome enough and I have no life so here you go! **

Kate woke up to find herself stretched out on Castle's couch, with a blanket draped over her. She had fallen asleep and she was surprised she wasn't forced awake with vivid nightmares following the events that had unfolded today. She checked the clock on the TV, surprised when she saw that it was 12am. She didn't even know when she fell asleep. She untangled herself from the covers and made her way back up the stairs to the guest room, flopping down on the bed. She picked up her phone realizing she had even more texts from Castle, only two this time.

"_Hey Kate, haven't heard from you still, but I hear you've taken me up on my offer. When I called you were asleep, that's good. I hope you're okay."_

"_Hi again Kate, are you awake?"_

The last message was sent about an hour ago, it would be 9pm in California now, so she texted him.

"Hey Castle. Sorry for disappearing, I just had to work some… stuff out." She sent. She smiled when her phone vibrated not a minute later.

"_I figured. How are you? I'm sorry I'm not there."_

"It's okay, your mother and Alexis have been very kind."

"_Good girls. You stay there as long as you like. I have to go. Paula is hounding."_

"Goodnight Castle and Thanks."

"_Always. Goodnight Kate."_

Kate smiled into the pillows as she read Castle's last text. How this man could make her feel so happy with one word in the midst of all this she had no idea. She didn't question it, she just settled herself under the covers, drifting off the sleep for the third time today.

She bolted upright in bed, screaming and trembling as she fought off another nightmare, the first nightmare since he escaped. She had been in the same position she was originally, only no one came. She screamed as he entered her, but no one heard her. He was rough and merciless as he drove into her repeatedly. Her body was numb and she could do nothing as he brought a blade to her chest, slicing it, lowering his head to suck the blood that was pouring out of her. She woke at that moment.

She sat upright in bed, shaking and crying uncontrollably as Alexis came bursting through the door, switching on the light with a baseball bat in hand.

"Kate? Kate are you okay?" Alexis rushed over to her, hesitant once she reached the edge of bed, not sure how Kate would react to her.

She didn't react, she just brought her knees to chest, burying her head in her knees as she cried. She would give anything for Castle to be here, so he could wrap her up in his arms and promise her she was safe and no one would get to her, she didn't want his daughter seeing her like this.

Alexis had crawled on the bed and pulled Kate into a hug, but still Kate didn't move, didn't open her eyes. She didn't pull away from Alexis as she rubbed circles on her back, until she calmed down.

"Do you want me to call dad?" She asked, sounding a bit desperate and a lot concerned.

Yes. Yes she would, that would make her feel better, hearing Castle's voice tell her that it was okay.

"No." She mumbled, surprising herself, but she didn't correct herself, she just remained in the same position until Alexis figured she'd want to be alone and left the room.

Not risking going back to sleep and seeing how the rest of that nightmare played out, she got out of bed and headed downstairs and into Castle's office. She picked Stormfall off of his self and settled herself into his couch, reading for the rest of the night, until the sun began to rise. She decided it was time to get ready for work, but she had no clothes here. She wondered if she would risk going back to her apartment, she decided she wasn't, so she called Lanie. She answered on the third ring.

"Hey Lanie, I need a favour." She told Lanie about the creepy feeling she got being in her apartment and ask if she could drag Esposito down there and get some clothes for her, she didn't want Lanie going by herself either. Lanie agreed and said she should be at Castle's in about 45 minutes. Kate decided to take a shower, putting the clothes she slept in back on as she made coffee.

Minutes later, Alexis entered to kitchen, eyeing her cautiously.

"Are you okay?" Alexis asked nervously.

Kate nodded, "I'm sorry about last night, I just-" She began to explain to the girl, but was cut off when Alexis raised a hand.

"It's okay, I used to have nightmares when I was kidnapped too." Alexis admitted.

Kate nodded, stopping herself from asking further questions.

"Do you want breakfast?" Alexis asked, changing the subject as she made her way over to the fridge pulling out a couple of eggs.

"Sure." Kate smiled.

She and Alexis got to work on their omelettes, when there was a knock on the door.

"Kate, it's me!" She heard Lanie's voice call out.

She went over to the door, checking the peephole, just to be sure it was Lanie. She pulled open the door when she saw that it was and immediately Lanie handed her a duffel bag.

"Thank you." Kate whispered.

"No problem." Lanie responded. "I gotta go, I got a body to autopsy. Good morning Alexis!" Lanie called.

"Morning Dr. Parish! I'll be there soon!" She called back, flipping both her and Kate's omelettes.

Lanie gave her friend and tight hug and looked into her eyes.

"You take care of yourself Kate. Don't do anything stupid." Lanie warned.

"I won't." She replied.

"Actually," Lanie stopped in the door, "Do you want Javi and I to wait until you're ready and in your car?"

"No, that's okay Lanie. Thanks though." Kate told her.

Lanie raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips, turning back to the door with a "hmph" and made her way to the elevator. Kate closed the door and turned to Alexis, who was now placing their omelettes on a plate. She raised the duffel bag she held in her hand.

"I'm gonna go change." She told Alexis as she made her way upstairs. Changing quickly, she noticed she had another message from Castle.

"_Hey, I hope you slept alright. Full day, I'll call tonight."_

If only he knew the kind of night she had, he'd be back on a plane so fast, she smiled at that thought and made her way back down the stairs sending off a reply to Castle.

"_Breakfast with your daughter, I'm headed off the precinct. Talk to you later."_

She found Alexis waiting for her at the table, her omelette untouched.

"Alexis were you waiting for me?" She asked. Alexis nodded.

"You didn't have to."

Alexis shrugged, "It's fine." She said, taking a bite of her omelette. They ate their omelettes in silence and when they were finished, placed the dishes in the dishwasher as they headed out. They decided that Kate would take Alexis to the morgue before heading to the precinct.

She and Alexis had small talk on the ride to the morgue, talking mainly about Alexis' life which Kate didn't mind at all. She didn't like talking about her own life, it was depressing. She dropped Alexis at the morgue and made it to the precinct in half hour. It was 8:47, when she stepped into the bullpen, ignoring the stares from the other officers in the room.

"Detective Beckett!" She heard Gates call and motion for her to step into her office. She inwardly groaned wondering what it was she did this time. She stepped into Captain Gate's office closing the door behind her before facing her boss.

"You wanted to see me?" Kate asked.

"I heard your kidnapper is out on the loose." Her voice was soft and that scared her, she never thought Gates was capable of sounding so… concerned and caring. She nodded.

"Yes sir."

"How you holding up?" She asked.

"I'm alive." She responded automatically.

Gates nodded.

"I'm assigning you to desk duty until he's caught."

Kate's jaw dropped. Desk duty? No, she couldn't be on desk duty. Of couse she was shaken up now, but surely she'd be fine, she wanted to take this guy down. No one wanted him as bad as her and now she was being put on desk duty? 

"No sir, you can't" Kate shook her head.

"The decision's already made detective. I'm not going to have you exposed." Gates spoke and Kate knew there was no arguing.

"Now, there's some paperwork on your desk that need review. I trust you'll get on that immediately." Gate returned to the work she had in front of her as Beckett stared after her.

"Paper work's not gonna do itself detective." Gates said without looking up.

Kate shook her head and left the captain's office and made her way over to her desk, where a pile of paperwork awaited her. She groaned as she sat down in her chair, immediately missing Castle's presence. She didn't dwell on the absence of Castle for long as Esposito and Ryan had arrived.

"Hey Beckett, everything okay?" Ryan asked, trying to sound casual, but she could hear the worry in his voice. She hated being worried about.

"I'm fine Ryan." She smiled, but Ryan clearly didn't buy it as he continued to eye her suspiciously until Esposito elbowed him in the ribs as he walked to his desk shaking his head.

"What?" Ryan whined, rubbing his side as he followed Esposito to his desk.

"We got a lead on your guy." Esposito told her, holding up a post-it with what seemed to be an address on it. "Local grocery store clerk saw him on last night's news said he came into the store at around 7pm last night to buy a pack of cigarettes and… other things." Esposito trailed off and Beckett decided she did not want to know what those "other things" were.

"We're going down there now. Coming?" Esposito asked.

Kate shook her head. "Sorry boys, Gates put me on desk duty." She swore she saw relief in Esposito eyes as they made their way out of the precinct uttering apologies for her being on desk duty, they knew how boring it was.

It was a slow day thankfully, there were no new cases and Kate managed to take her mind off of the case as she worked through the pile of paper work she had been given. She had made it more than halfway when Ryan and Esposito came back to the precinct looking a bit deflated.

"So?" She asked, not allowing herself to be hopeful.

"The guy disappeared as soon as he left the grocery store. I don't know how he did it. We got footage of him in the store, he wasn't even hiding from the camera and as soon as he leaves. We lose him." Ryan told her as Esposito slumped in his chair. She must have been terrible at hiding her disappointment and fear because Esposito was coming up with some new theories and tactics for catching this guy, but Beckett couldn't shake the gut wrenching feeling that this guy was still out.

The day was over soon enough and she waited for Alexis, as they agreed so they could ride back to the loft together. She left Ryan and Esposito slaving over this case, trying to find the guy, she didn't need to stay, she didn't want to stay. When they reached back to Castle's parking garage, Alexis noticed Kate looking around the place to make sure no one was in sight.

"Don't worry, security's pretty tight here." Alexis assured her.

Kate nodded, feeling somewhat better, she stepped out of the car and they made their way to up to the loft.

"Do you want to order in?" Alexis asked, shrugging off her coat.

"Sure that sounds good, but I'm just gonna go get a shower." Kate told her making her way up the stairs. "Go ahead and order."

"Sweet and Sour chicken good?" Alexis called as she dialled the number for their regular Chinese food place.

"Perfect." She smiled. She climbed the rest of the stairs, headed right for the shower, she stood in the shower for a good while, just enjoying the feel of the hot water running over her skin, letting it ease away her tension from the day. She stepped out 15 minutes later, she towel dried her hair and found a pair of sweatpants and pulled Castle's shirt over her head again before making her way downstairs. She was greeted immediately with the smell of Chinese food and her stomach roared to life.

She found Alexis already eating a plate of food, talking animatedly on the phone with one of her friends. Kate made herself a dish and retreated upstairs, after telling Alexis where she would be.

As she settled on the bed, turning on the Tv to find something to watch, her phone rang. Setting aside her food she checked to see who was calling.

"Castle" She smiled.

"Hey, how was your day?" He greeted.

"I got put on desk duty." She pouted.

"It's for the best don't you think?" He asked her.

"I supposed." She still didn't like other people deciding what was best for her, but for once, she decided not to fight it. "How about you?"

Castle groaned, "I swear, I'm getting too old for this."

"Getting?" Kate joked.

"Hey!" Castle exclaimed. Kate laughed, grateful for his ability to make her just forget.

"Anything new on Josh?" Castle asked cautiously, not wanting to set her off.

She sighed, "No, the boys had a lead today, but it ran them straight into a brick wall."

The line was silent for a while.

"You should come here." Castle blurted before he realized what he was saying. He closed his eyes, ready for Beckett to yell at him.

"I can't Castle, I have to work." She replied softly. She thought about it, she only had paperwork to do and Gates wouldn't mind, she did have some vacation days saved up. She wanted to, but the idea of following Castle to California made her feel, helpless… too helpless and she didn't like that, so she remained.

"Right, I'm sorry, I just thought- "Castle started.

"It's okay." She said softly.

"I'm sorry I'm not there with you." Castle said, his voice serious.

"Yea me too." She automatically replied.

They spent the next hour talking about everything else, about Castle's interviews and book signings so far, poking fun at each other and Kate was happy for the change in mood Castle brought and reluctantly let him go when he said he had an interview with Craig Ferguson. She hadn't thought she would enjoy talking to Castle so much that she'd be disappointed when he hung up, shaking her head, she distracted herself from thinking about what that meant and switched through TV channels to find something to watch. She settled on Temptation Lane when she saw a marathon was going on. She doubted she was going to sleep tonight anyways.

The next 3 days were the same, every morning she and Alexis had breakfast, Kate would drop her at the morgue and she would settle herself at the precinct, the 2nd safest place she knew, to do paperwork. She tried to hide her nervousness and fear when she realized every lead the detectives got on Josh was a dead end, until the 4th day.

Kate had run out of clothes and had to make a stop at her apartment. She squashed her fear down and it was only when she was turning her key in the lock of her door she realized she probably shouldn't have come here alone. She twisted the key and opened the door, her hand on her gun as she stepped cautiously into her apartment.

She made her way to her bedroom, switching on lights as she went and she stopped dead at what she saw laying on her bed. A letter addressed to her, being cautious, she picked up the envelope with her gloved fingers and opened it, her eyes widening and her heart racing as she read:

_I've tracked you down for many days;_

_I've followed you through alleyways._

_You haven't even seen me yet,_

_But when you do, you won't forget._

_I wanted you first at the store;_

_I saw you there five times before._

_And you were always all alone;_

_And now I want you for my own._

_And here we are my lovely one; _

_My suffering will soon be done. _

_In just a moment, you'll be mine, _

_And everything will turn out fine._

_I grab a pillow from the bed. _

_I press it down over your head. _

_You wake up, flailing in distress; _

_I hold your arms down on your chest. _

_You cannot swing; you cannot scream. _

_I tell you that it's just a dream. _

_Go back to sleep; don't try to fight. _

_You will not get away tonight._

_And so it's done; my task is through. _

_I lie down in the bed with you. _

_I hold you in my arms gently; _

_I only want you next to me. _

_I run my hands across your face. _

_Your hair I stroke; your lips I taste. _

_You're still so warm; you smell so sweet. _

_I brush my toes across your feet. _

_On top of you I feel delight. _

_But something just does not seem right. _

_You can't even return a kiss; _

_Will I not know what pleasure is? _

_But so is fate; I will not cry. _

_Yet still I question myself why. _

_I leave you there upon your bed; _

_The only love I had is dead. _

She was frozen on the spot, the words on the paper making her feel sick. The papers fell from her hand as her hand fell limp to her side. Horror hit her again when she realized he had been in her apartment, he knew where she lived, he was stalking her. Before she could think of anything else, she ran straight out the door.

He had been in her apartment.

**End: A/N: WHAT?! Even I feel creeped out by that. If anyone's wondering, the poem here is called "Stalker – SilentStalker" there's a lot more verses, I would have out more, but it was too long, so I just chose the best verses. If you want the link tell me! SilentStalker, if you happen across this, I do not mean to steal your work or anything! I just really loved it. But yea okay… Angst.. Angst and more angst… Is it driving you mad? Good mad? Bad mad? Let me know Byyee!**

**Ashley**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** **I just wanna say a big thank you to PhoebeLuv25, wendykw and kramerjp who review like every chapter and give me motivation to continue as well as everyone else who leaves a review! 'preciate all you peeps! I hope you guys are liking this fic and it's not one of those badly written fics that you can't stop reading because you need to know what happens, cause well… I'm not a writer but I'm trying a thing. So I thank you :D Now I'm going to stop talking and let you read. Enjoy! (I hope)**

**Disclaimer: I never remember to put one of these, but obviously I don't own Castle, otherwise, they'd probably have babies already. Maybe it's for the best I don't, I'll just settle for writing fanfiction. **

Kate drove back to Castle's loft breaking every possible road law. She was surprised she made it to the loft in once peace as she couldn't seem to control her shaking body. How could she have been so stupid? Going to her apartment alone, knowing her stalker was still on the loose and now he was in her apartment. She burst through the door, frightening Alexis and Martha who immediately noticed her state and began firing questions she couldn't deal with. She ran straight to Castle's office, making her way to his bedroom, not bothering to waste time running up the stairs, she slammed his door and sank down on the floor, she would apologize for that in the morning.

Then, she lost it. All the fear, all the trauma, all the anger, all the anxiety that followed her for the past weeks pouring out of her as she cried and her body convulsed. It seems her tears had no limit as they continued to pour out of her. She heard the door open and without looking up from the foetal position she had curled herself into, she knew it was Alexis, which only made her cry harder.

She hated this, being vulnerable, appearing week in the view of others, that was not Kate. She hated that Castle's family had to witness this, she hated the guy that caused all of this, she hated the officers that let him get away. Mostly, she hated the fact that Castle was not there with her. She sensed Alexis getting closer and freaked out when she touched her.

"Kate" Alexis called softly, touching her on the shoulder, feeling her body tremble beneath her hand. Her heart broke for the older woman and she could feel the fear that ran through her knowing this guy was out on the loose, hell, she was scared for her.

"No! Don't touch me!" Kate yelled, jerking away from the girl's hand, causing her to jump a foot in the air.

"Kate, I just – "She began.

"No! Please! Just go!" Kate yelled again, lifting her head to reveal her red eyes, her running make up and the evident terror in her eyes.

"Kate, you shouldn't be alone." She tried again, slowly inching closer, afraid of what reaction she would get.

"Go!" Kate screamed and dropped her head back to her knees and started to cry even harder.

Alexis, not wanting to be yelled at again by Kate immediately backed out of the room only to be met with a questioning and worried look from her grandmother. Alexis shook her head, picking up the phone and punching in a number.

"She's losing it, I don't think she can take this any longer. She yelled at me." Alexis explained to her, while she waited for someone to pick up the phone.

"_Alexis?" _

"Dad! Dad, where are you, you need to come home like now!" Alexis spoke into the phone quickly.

"_Whoa there, calm down, what's wrong? Is Kate –" _He asked, immediately sensing something was wrong.

"I don't even know dad, she just came home and ran straight into your room, she's freaking out, dad she _yelled _at me." She rushed.

"_Yelled at you? Freaking out? Oh God. Look sweetie, I'm actually in a cab on my way to the loft, I got back early and I was gonna surprise you. I'll be there in 5 minutes." _

She heard him order the driver to drive faster before the line disconnected. She replaced the phone and turned back towards her father's bedroom.

"She shouldn't be alone." She said speaking to no one really.

"Your father will be here soon dear, I don't think she wants anyone else seeing her like this." Martha replied, coming up behind her to steer her away from the direction of his bedroom, where they could now hear Beckett's crying. Alexis' heart was racing and her hands felt clammy, she didn't understand why the world would do such a terrible thing to someone who was dedicated to making the world a better place.

Alexis was lost in her thoughts when she heard the door open and turned to see her father bursting through the door, dropping his luggage right at the door and heading straight for his bedroom. He stopped and turned to his daughter and mother when he heard her cries though the walls.

"How long has she been like this?" He asked, eyes wide and clearly out of breath.

"Probably half an hour?" Alexis told him, not moving from her spot on the couch, nervous to face Kate again.

Castle nodded and entered his study, making his way to his bedroom opening his door. His heart stopped when he saw her curled up on his floor, body shaking and crying very loudly.

"Go …. away A- Alexis, p-p-please." He heard her stutter in between her sobs.

He knelt down beside her, placing a hand gently on her shoulder.

"Not Alexis." He told her softly.

Immediately, she turned towards him and he pulled her into his arms as he sat on the floor with her. Her crying wasn't as loud, but she was still shaking and he could feel his shirt was soaked, but he didn't care, he just held on tighter, saying without words that he was right here for her and always will be. He couldn't help think that this situation was basically the same as the first night she called him in the morning, when she was frightened enough to let him in, if only a little bit, to let him witness her like this and he knew it was a big deal for her. She was human, but she sometimes forgot that and having her allow him to give her comfort in times like these was not something Castle would take lightly.

He began to wonder what event had caused this reaction, if any at all, or if she just had a reaction from all the pressure she was under. The guy was still on the loose and from he knew, there were no new leads. His attention was drawn to the light knocking on the door and saw his redheaded daughter poking her head in his room.

"Is she okay?" She asked, concerned.

Castle shook his head. No. He continued to rub soothing circles on her back. He could feel as her shaking body stilled, she was still tense and still crying but she wasn't shaking. Alexis noticed her father's attention was focused on the crying woman in his arms and backed out of the room, closing the door softly. She just needed to know if everything was alright and it seemed her father had things under control.

Castle remained silent for the next hour, just running her back and whispering soothing words into her hair. She pulled back from his chest and looked up at him. He took her in, her eyes were red, wet and filled with fear, her makeup was all over the place and her face was hollow.

"You're back." She whispered hoarsely, looking at him as if she was trying to decide if he was here or not or if she was dreaming this.

"I'm here." He assured her, smiling down at her.

"Wanna talk about it?" He chanced asking her, not knowing what reaction this would bring. She ducked her head back against his chest and shook her head.

"He was in my apartment Castle." She admitted, gripping his shirt as if she was afraid he would leave. He would never.

"He was what" Castle asked, his eyes popping, praying he hadn't heard the right thing.

"In …my… apartment." She repeated, speaking each word slowly.

Castle brought his free hand to his head, running through his hair. He was in her apartment. The creep was in her apartment.

"How do you know?" He asked, praying she wouldn't answer him with what he thought she would.

He could feel her take a deep breath before answering him.

"I ran out of clothes, so I had to go – "She told him.

"You went to your apartment? By yourself?" He asked incredulous.

"I know it was stupid. I wasn't thinking." She spoke into his shirt.

Castle clenched his jaw, it w_as_ stupid, it was _very_ stupid and he couldn't believe she would do something like that. Her captor was out on the loose, possibly looking for her and she went there by herself? He was glad he wasn't in the apartment, he could have kidnapped her again… _or worse. _Castle shook his head, getting rid of that thought. He looked down at the woman in his arms, who was gripping his shirt, he wanted to yell at her for being so careless, but he couldn't, not when she had been through so much.

"He left a letter on my bed." Kate answered his next question before he could even ask it.

"What did it say?" He asked her, trying and failing to conceal his fear for her.

"You'd have to read it." She mumbled.

"Where is it?" He asked, looking around for the letter.

"I dropped it and ran out of the apartment." She confessed.

"Did you call anyone?" He asked.

She shook her head. He pulled out his phone immediately, dialling Ryan's number. This could be the clue they needed to catch this guy.

"_Ryan"_

"Hey Ryan, it's me Castle."

"_Hey Castle, back so soon?"_

"Yeah, I got out early, hey look about Beckett's…. guy. You guys might want to grab CSU and head over to her apartment."

"_Why?" _Ryan was becoming nervous with what Castle was telling him and motioned Esposito to come to him.

"He was in her apartment and he left her a letter." Castle told him, running his fingers through Kate's hair as he felt her relax in his arms, but continued to hold on to his shirt.

"_On it."_ Ryan said as he disconnected the call.

"Ryan and Esposito are headed over to your place, see what they can find." He told Kate. She nodded.

"Don't worry, we'll get this guy and he's gonna pay for this." He promised her. He looked down at her for a couple more minutes before moving to pick her up, ready for her to argue the fact that she is capable of walking, but she didn't, she just gripped him tighter.

"_What are you doing?"_

"Taking you upstairs, to bed." He told her. In any other situation, he would expect her to fire back with their usual innuendos, but now wasn't that time.

"_Do you mind… Can I just stay here? With you?" _She asked quietly.

Understanding she didn't want to be alone, he nodded, changing his course, he laid her on his bed.

"I'll be right back okay?" He told her.

Walking out in the living room, he saw Alexis pacing a hole in the floor and his mother sitting on the edge of the chair waiting for him to come out of his room to find out what was going on.

"He was in her apartment." He supplied before anyone could ask any questions, making his way up the stairs.

"Wait? The guy who… ?" Alexis trailed off, not wanted to finish the question. Castle nodded.

"My God, that poor woman." He heard Martha exclaim as he reached the top of the stairs heading towards the guest room where Kate had been staying. He spotted a pair of sweat pants and what looked to be his old shirt folded on one of the pillows. He smiled at the thought of her sleeping in his shirt as he made his way back down stairs and into the kitchen. He poured a glass of water and got some headache pills, she was bound to have a headache after all that crying.

"What's gonna happen?" Alexis asked, stepping into the kitchen.

"Ryan and Esposito are gone over there to see what they can find out. In the meantime, I'm just gonna go stay with her." Castle hugged his daughter, realizing he hadn't when he came home and his mother too before making his way back to his room. Kate had pulled the covers over herself and had turned on her side, she was facing the door so he knew she wasn't asleep.

"I brought you something to change into, some water and pain pills." Castle said handing her the clothes and placing the water and pills on the night stand on the side of the bed she was sleeping on.

She smiled at him, sitting up and pulling the covers off making her way to go change into the clothes Castle had brought for her. Castle took this time to change into a sleep shirt and shorts and crawled into his bed, as he waited for her to come out of the bathroom.

5 minutes later she emerged from the bathroom, she had watched her face free of makeup and tear stains and pulled her hair into a ponytail. He couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips when he saw her in his shirt, but said nothing, just holding the sheets for her to climb in. He was surprised when she immediately wrapped her arm around his chest and buried her face into the crook of his neck, breathing deeply.

He couldn't help the racing of his heart as she registered the intimacy of this position, he knew that it was just for comfort and was able to stop his body from reacting in a way that was not appropriate for this situation. He wrapped his arm protectively around her middle, drawing her closer to him, resting his head against her hair as they drifted off to sleep. She mentally prepared herself to be woken in the middle of the night by another nightmare, but still hoped Castle's presence would keep the nightmares away.

Ryan and Esposito stood outside of Beckett's apartment door, it was unlocked and was open slightly. Pulling out their guns, Ryan pushed open the door as Esposito entered the room, gun pointed. Ryan followed, they checked every room and behind every door to ensure the apartment was empty, before calling in CSU.

Ryan's attention was drawn to a white paper on the floor, putting on a glove, he bent down to pick it up and read as CSU began dusting down the apartment for any clues. As he read, his eyes widened and his mouth was dry, he nudged Esposito who was directing the others and handed him the paper. Esposito's face was the mirror of Ryan's, eyes popping, mouth open and their heart's raced.

"We gotta get this son-of-a-bitch." Esposito declared through gritted teeth. Ryan nodded, unable to even speak after reading this letter.

"Detectives! We got something!" Ryan and Esposito turned to where an officer stood, beckoning to them.

"Let's just hope this clue gets us somewhere." Ryan said as they headed over to the officer, desperately hoping this would be the break in this case and they could finally catch the bastard.

**End A/N: Just saying, the case that was started before they realized this guy had escaped, yea, I haven't forgotten about it, if any of you remember what I'm even talking about. I know I haven't gone far, time wise but… I'm getting there just stick with me? Tell me what you think? Reviews are love Also, can I just say my cable company like gives me channels for both the West and East coast, so when I started this fic, I was watching "The lives of others" on whichever coast the shows come first on and as I post this,(2 hours later) I am watching "The lives of others" again on the later channel… Hehehe. Castle all day every day. Okay, I'm going now. **

**Ashley **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hi there! It's me again. This chapter isn't long cause, my mom left her charger at her office so this laptop is gonna die soon, but I figured I'd just give you something. I hope this chapter is okay. Thanks for the reviews and your words of encouragement, without them…. I would definitely not be updating this so often. So here's chapter 10. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle… Obviously and unfortunately **

Kate woke up the next morning, only to be greeted by the harsh rays of the sun assaulting her eyes. She quickly shut her eyes and shoved her face into the pillow, a pillow that smelled at lot like Castle. She smiled, until she remembered the events that brought her here, she inwardly cringed at the way she yelled at Alexis and just lost any semblance of control she held on to during this whole ordeal. It was then she realized she was alone in the bed and rolled over on to her back, she hadn't had any nightmares that night, she made a note that whenever Castle was involved, she didn't.

Her senses became aware of the delightful smell that wafted in from the kitchen, her stomach getting the better of her, she immediately jumped out of the bed and made her way through Castle's study, but stopped short when she heard whispering on the other side, whispering that included the words "Kate", "Stalker" and she didn't want to hear the rest of that conversation. She turned back into Castle's bedroom heading for the bathroom, she washed her face and brushed her teeth with the extra toothbrush Castle must have put out for her. She borrowed Castle's hairbrush and attempted to detangle the mess that was on top of her head. When she could find nothing else to stall with, she cautiously made her way back through the study, hearing nothing, she pushed the door open. She was pleasantly greeted by the sight of Castle with sleep rumpled hair, still in his sleeping clothes with a blue apron covering them.

She felt her heart thump at the sight and couldn't help feeling warm at the sight of domestic Castle. She wanted to do nothing more than walk up to him and run her fingers through the adorable mess of brown locks that fell down into his forehead. She wanted nothing more than to wake up every morning to this, but first she had to fix herself. Castle had offered her to world with no conditions, he was willing to do anything for her, she knew that, the least she could do was give him something at least partially whole and not so broken in every way.

It was then he caught sight of her just standing there staring at him, she felt her cheeks flush at being caught and she ducked her head. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have missed Castle almost dropping the spoon in his hand at the sight of her, in his shirt, fresh from sleeping, glowing in the sunlight that streamed in through the window. She was always beautiful, but this was a different kind of beautiful. The beautiful he just wanted to snap a picture of, to hold hands with and to just be with. When she chanced a glance back up in his direction, he was smiling at her, she smiled back shyly.

"Pancakes?" He offered, gesturing to a plate already piled high with them and she wondered, who in the hell was eating all those pancakes.

"So much pancakes Castle, what are you doing cooking for 5000?" She joked, feeling completely natural in this scene and for some reason that scared her. She walked the rest of the way and plopped herself down on one of the kitchen stools, facing him. He was even cuter up close, she noted with a slight smile.

"I did go a bit…. Overboard" Castle admitted staring at the pile of pancakes with some sort of dismay. She laughed.

"So" He said, taking down a plate for her and putting two pancakes on it, hesitating and then adding a third. "What are we doing today?" He placed the plate in front of her, handing her the syrup.

"I don't know about you, but I gotta get to work." She told him, stuffing her face with pancake, much to his amusement, but what she said had the smile dropping off his face.

"Kate, you can't go to work today." He said frowning. She knew what was coming, she was hoping he would just let it slide and pretend it never happened, but then she realized this was Castle and that was never going to happen. They were talking about it.

"Look Castle, I know last night was …." She paused, searching for the right word to say, "something" she finished when she didn't know how to describe last night, "but I'm okay now, I have to go to work."

"No Kate, you're not okay. You have a creep stalking you, he found your apartment, God knows what else he'll do next, I won't let him take you again Kate, I won't." His jaw was clenched and his eyes serious, focused on her. She felt a little taken aback by this side of Castle, she wasn't used to this, she was used to being the one to call the shots, but she refused to back down.

"Castle, look, the precinct's the safest place I know. I just need this okay? I can't sit here all day, knowing he's still out there, I have to do something, I have to help." She told him, staring into his eyes begging him to understand why she needed this. She didn't want to feel as helpless as she did right now, she didn't want to feel as if she had to put her entire life on hold because of some guy. She had to get to work and she had to find him.

She was relieved when Castle nodded slightly. His lips were drawn into a thin line and he made no attempt to mask how he was feeling about this. She finished her pancakes in silence, before going to get a shower and head out to work. She wouldn't admit it, but when she finished getting herself ready for the day, she was happy to find that Castle was also ready, holding two coffee travel cups in his hand. As much as she so desperately needed to go to work, she didn't necessarily want to go out alone either.

The drive was quiet as Castle's expression still hadn't changed, he was obviously in disagreement with her about her going out to work and he kept looking through the windows, clearly checking to see if anyone was following them. When they finally pulled up at the precinct, he was the first out of the car, scanning the parking garage, ensuring there was no threat, before following Kate over to the elevator. He visibly relaxed when the doors closed and the elevator began to move.

"Thank you Castle." She said softly, breaking the silence. He looked at her, his face relaxing as soon as he met her eyes.

"Always." He responded, his eyes burning into hers, hoping all the feelings he had for her could be delivered to her in just those 6 letters.

She looked into his eyes and had to admit, she felt overwhelmed at the intensity of what she saw there, the intensity she only hoped she could return someday, if this guy didn't kill her first. The ding of the elevator caused them to break eye contact and focus on the doors as they opened and they stepped out into the bullpen.

Before she could even sit down she heard Ryan call out to her from the conference room, beckoning for her to come, while watching to see if Gates had seen or heard anything. She quickly made her way over to him, Castle close behind, he closed the door behind him and turned to see a desk full of papers of all sorts. Ryan handed him a paper before turning to speak to Beckett.

"So, we searched your apartment last night, the whole place was clean." He informed Beckett, who felt her heart thump hard in her chest, "except, this…" He finished, holding out a file to her.

"Mr. Newman's fingerprint." She stated her voice flat, "He was in the apartment too? So his DNA was found both in my apartment and on your vic from before?"

Ryan nodded.

"We're guessing the two cases are connected somehow, now we gotta find out why." Esposito spoke up, from where he was slaving through files on the desk, "I've been going through their financials, records everything, but I can't find any connection." He said, slumping in his hair, running his hands over his face.

Castle had finished reading the paper Ryan had handed to him and was now vibrating with rage and fear.

"He left this on your bed?" He asked Kate, his voice controlled, not wanting to yell.

She looked at the paper in his hand and nodded, feeling the fear she first felt when she just read the letter creeping back into her bones.

"This guy needs to die." He announced, his voice deadly, his face furious.

"We'll get him Castle" Ryan assured, while Beckett just stared at him, no words coming to her. She simply turned towards the door and made her way over to her desk. Castle, Ryan and Esposito watched her as she went, sharing glances before Esposito spoke.

"We need to get him soon."

Castle spent the next few minutes discussing the case with the boys before making his way to her. She was staring at her computer screen that was displaying nothing and she was gripping her coffee cup so tightly, her knuckles where white. Reaching over, her gently pried her fingers off the handle, drawing her attention to him. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted, she stared at him for a while and he stared back. She eventually turned back to the pile of paper work she had on her desk and got to work, he sat back in his chair and just watched her. He felt the fear drain away from her as she focused on the work in front of her for the next 3 hours. He had gone between checking on the boy's progress and just watching her work.

"I'm hungry." She finally spoke as she finished another file.

"I can go get you something to eat. Want a burger?" He asked, standing, stretching out his legs.

"We'll both go, it's a short enough walk." Castle stared at her, wondering how she could just go from being so scared to acting like there was no danger, but it was a short walk and he knew she didn't like giving up her independence, so he just held out his hand for her to lead the way.

When they got out to the street, she could feel him tense as he scanned the crowed for any form of danger and she felt him relax ever so slightly when they got inside Remy's. When they ordered what they wanted and something for the boys, his body tensed again as they stepped out of the store and shortly after, hers did too.

"Castle someone's following us." She whispered, holding him in place as he tried to turn around so as to not let them know they were on to them.

"Wha- how did you know that?" He asked, clearly upset with himself for not realizing that first.

"Detective." She said, trying to sound detached, but he could hear the tremble in her voice and feel her grip on his arm tighten. He moved slowly and pulled his phone out of his pocket, quickly sending a text to Esposito, they were close enough to the precinct and Beckett didn't have her gun on her so he didn't want to risk taking on whoever was following them on their own, although he had a pretty good idea of who is was and clearly so did she as her grip was so tight, his arm was beginning to feel numb.

As they turned the corner, Castle spotted Esposito and Ryan, standing at different point on the street, guns in hand. Castle nodded to them as he passed and then everything happened so quickly, he just grabbed Kate and ran.

"Police! Down on the ground!" He heard someone yell.

"Gun!" He heard someone else yell.

The next thing he heard was three gunshots ringing out and a _thud _as a body hit the ground.

**A/N: So I don't know if any of you know the O'Malley book series, but in the first book, it was pretty similar to this, the girl was kidnapped when she was little and her brother is an FBI guy dedicating his life to find him and when they got him well it was awesome and so the end of his chapter was kind of inspired by what happened when they found the guy. You should read that series though… But yes! So how did you like it? Or not like it? Leave a review and tell me and maybe I won't make you wait a long time for another update ;) Thank you!**

**Ashley. **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: *Dr. Banner voice* I'm sorry, that was mean, I just wanted to see what you would do? (About the cliffhanger) But hey! At least I didn't make you wait long. It is 2am as I start to write this, I'm like half asleep so… yes. Thanks for the reviews and all the other stuff! You guys are appreciated and I hope you enjoy this chapter **

**Disclaimer: If I own Castle, I'd just use fanfic as scripts… **

Castle didn't stop to look at what had just happened, instead, he quickly rushed Kate into the precinct elevator and pushed the button for their floor. She hadn't released her grip on him, her hands were still gripping tightly to his shirt and her head buried his neck. He said nothing, much like the times before when he held her when her dreams had terrorized her.

As the elevator doors closed, he felt the tremors begin and the moisture on his shirt and instinctively, he held her closer until the elevator and they had arrived on their floor. Quickly, she released Castle from her grip and wiped at her red eyes and with a glance at Castle, she walked unsteadily out into the bullpen then headed straight for the break room. Naturally, Castle followed her, closing the door behind him. She sat at the table in the break room, just staring at her hands that were clasped on the table in front of her.

"How could I be so stupid?" She whispered, not looking up at him.

"What do you mean?" He asked, inching closer to her.

"I just… I mean, I know some guy is out there, hunting me… watching my every move and I still go out and expose myself like….." She trailed off, before looking up at him, tears pooling in her eyes.

"What if he got me again Castle? I'm so stupid." She shook her head and looked back down at her fingers.

"Kate, you're not stupid okay, don't ever say that." He told her, closing the space between them, but still not touching her.

"He would never have touched you again Kate." He said seriously, making her look up those eyes of his, usually so blue and warm, but now so dark and deadly.

"Yeah? How do you know that?" She mumbled.

"I wouldn't let him." He said it with such seriousness, she couldn't look away as he stood there, basically admitting he would do anything for her safety, but before she could get carried away with her thoughts her attention was elsewhere.

"Oh my God!" She exclaimed getting up, drawing Castle's attention to whatever she was staring at.

Ryan and Esposito had Josh handcuffed and leading him to the interrogation room, but what caused Beckett's outburst was the gauze that Ryan had on his shoulder and his arm being supported in a sling.

She didn't dare leave the break room while her stalker was still being led to the interrogation room, she didn't even want to be in the same room as him, so she waited until Ryan and Esposito had him in the room before making her way to the observation room with Castle.

"_Do you know how much years you can get for just shooting a cop Josh? Plus stalking another and on top of that breaking out of jail? It's like you don't even wanna see daylight again." _Esposito asked as he sat down in the chair opposite Josh.

Josh tilted his head in confusion. Kate took her first proper look at him, he looked like he hadn't bathed in days, his grey sweatshirt stained with sweat and dirt, his jeans were ripped in every place, underneath his fingernails were caked with dirt and his unruly brown hair was outgrown and messy. Unconsciously, she stepped closer to Castle, which did not go unnoticed by him and he prepared himself for another breakdown.

"_Stalking a cop? I was never stalking anyone." _Josh spoke, his voice sending chills all through Kate's body.

"_So what do you call what you were doing Josh? If you weren't 'stalking'?" _Ryan asked disgust clear in voice.

"_I was only making sure my love got back to work safely. I have plans for her you know. I'm sure she told you."_ He said smiling, looking past Esposito and Ryan at the one-way window exactly where Kate was standing.

This time is was Castle who took a step closer to Kate, stepping into her personal space as her breathing stuttered.

"_You're doing what?" _Esposito stood, the chair scraping loudly on the floor as he shoved away from the table making everyone jump.

"_Listen to me you little creep! The only plans you're gonna have for the rest of your life is figuring out how to survive in prison you little bastard! Detective Beckett wants nothing to do with you! And your little stunt shooting my partner here is only gonna guarantee you rot in that place! So you better—" _He was cut off by Ryan placing his good arm across his chest and shaking his head muttering, _"It's not worth it bro."_

Esposito sent him one last glare before storming out of the interrogation room, Ryan following. Josh sat in the room, staring once again at where Kate stood beyond the glass.

"_It's not over." _He said, smiling making Kate feel as if she was gonna throw up any minute, preferably on him.

"I'm gonna make sure that bastard doesn't last a night in Sing Sing." Esposito stormed into the observation room.

"I wouldn't stop you." Ryan commented.

"Ryan what happened to your arm?" Beckett asked concerned.

"Oh you know, when you and Castle were clear we tried to stop him, but the idiot had a gun and just fired, bullet grazed my shoulder, no biggie, but the paramedics wouldn't let me leave without all this commotion." Ryan motioned to the sling his arm was in.

"What about him?" Castle asked, nodding at the bastard who was now staring at the ceiling, evidently deep in thought.

"Shot him in the leg, no one shoots my partner." Esposito glared at Josh, "I can't stand to be in the same room as him, makes me sick, we'll throw him in holding tonight, question him tomorrow."

Kate nodded and Ryan and Esposito left the room.

"Why don't they just get together already?" Castle joked, but it fell flat as Beckett just turned back to look at Josh.

"You okay?" He asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"What if he gets out again?" She asked softly.

"He won't." Castle promised.

She didn't reply, she just continued to stare at the man who had caused her so many problems, who had terrified her, who had haunted her dreams.

"Come with me." She turned to face Castle, searching his eyes, for what she didn't know.

"Of course. Come with you to where though?" He asked, his eyebrows drawing together.

She took a deep breath "Therapy."

"You want me to come to therapy with you? Kate are you sure?" He asked, placing both hands on her upper arms.

"Please Castle?" She pleaded.

"Okay. When is it?" He asked.

"This evening at 4." She told him.

He pulled her into a big hug, which she didn't resist, resting his chin in her hair.

"It's over Kate. It's over." He whispered in her hair.

That evening they sat in the waiting room of Beckett's therapist, waiting for her name to be called. Castle was clearly nervous as his leg bounced up and down and he switched positions every second. Kate didn't say anything to him, because she was nervous too. She didn't really know why she asked Castle to come with her, inside that room she could admit to anything, some things she was afraid to admit to Castle, but she had to at some point.

"Katherine Beckett, Dr. Burke will see you now." The receptionist called. Castle stood immediately and stared at Kate as she stood and made her way slowly to her doctor's office.

"Ms. Beckett, good evening, I see you've brought company." Dr. Burke greeted, looking not the least bit surprised at Beckett's company.

"Umm, yea. Dr. Burke this is… this is Rick Castle. Castle this is Dr. Burke." Kate introduced the two men as Castle crossed the room to nervously shake the man's hand.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Castle, please have a seat." He gestured to the chairs in the office. Castle sat directly beside Kate.

"So, any news on your guy?" Dr. Burke asked.

"We caught him." She told him.

"But you're still afraid." Kate nodded.

"It's completely normal to still feel fear Kate, I hope you don't think you're no good because of that fear."

"It's just… We caught him once and he got out, I mean, would it be so hard for him to get out again?" She asked, staring intently at the beige carpet.

Dr. Burke made eye contact with Castle and spoke.

"I don't think Mr. Castle would let that happen."

"Yea, well he's not always with me." Kate responded.

"I could be." Castle said so softly, he thought he wouldn't be heard.

Dr. Burke turned to him, but spoke to Kate.

"Yes, he could be, if only you'd let him."

Kate looked at Castle.

"It's not that easy." She said, speaking to her doctor but looking directly at Castle.

"Why not?" Castle asked her.

"You deserve so much more Castle. You give so much, it wouldn't be fair of me to give you this… broken person." She began to tear up.

"I can fix you." He told her, eyes trained on hers.

"You shouldn't have to."

"I want to."

She took a deep breath. Well, here goes nothing, she thought to herself.

"I want this Castle, I do, but what good will I be for you if I'm so broken? I can't even keep myself together anymore. You deserve better." She told him, breaking eye contact to look anywhere else but at him or her doctor. Castle placed his thumb under her chin and brought her head up so she could look at him.

"I want you Kate. You. No one else but you will ever be good enough for me. I don't care if you're broken, I'll take all the pieces of you and I'll put them back together. I just want you."

Kate had stopped breathing when he started to speak and now the tears in her eyes were spilling over. What was with her and being so emotional lately?

"You can't fix yourself on your own Kate, sometimes you have to accept a little help." Dr. Burke spoke, reminding the two of his presence.

"Just let me help you Kate." Castle pleaded, his eyes soft as he reached out and wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb.

The simple contact had set Kate off, feeling things she had never felt with any guy before. Such a simple move causing her stomach to flip and her heart to beat harder.

"I still need time." She said, her voice barely a whisper.

He nodded.

"Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere." He smiled.

Maybe she could give this a try, she thought to herself. She wasn't quite there yet, but she would be and with her stalker hopefully put away for good, she had to start moving forward with her life. Moving forward with Castle.

**A/N: It's 4:01am, so excuse me if this isn't like… up to par with the rest of the story, I'm basically sleep typing, while watching Spiderman sooo yea. But there's that. This is basically, hopefully, the last of Josh like…. As such a big part, of course she'll still have some issues and they have to interrogate him and all but hopefully now, she can get herself into a place where she can move forward with Castle. So tell me what your thoughts are, I love your reviews. Oh and follow me on twitter Ohsnapitzzash or on tumblr: cloudywithachanceofcaskett . tumblr . com . Oh and I just wondered, any fellow Jamaicans reading this story? Cause that'd be hella cool. Lol, Imma be gone now! Peace!**

**-Ashley **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So I'm a bit upset because school starts tomorrow and my dad decided that I couldn't watch Castle (I watched it online last night) but still… That was the only thing keeping me happy in the face of school, so now I'm just upset, I hope it doesn't show in this chapter or anything. Thanks for your reviews and your support to those of you still following this story. I hope I don't let you down. Hope you like it.**

Castle pulled into the grocery store parking lot near his loft, getting unreasonably excited over grocery shopping, which was something Kate absolutely _hated_. Castle had invited Kate back to his loft to stay for a couple more days because her apartment was currently under investigation, secretly she was hoping he'd ask. Seeing as they had no new cases and it was near 7pm, she didn't bother going back to the precinct and decided to just call it a day. She had made the mistake of asking what they were gonna eat, he immediately got this sparkle in his eye and took a sharp turn and headed straight for the grocery store.

As Castle parked the car, he jumped out and quickly made his way around to her side opening for her, she hesitantly got out of the car and he grabbed her hand and all but ran into the store.

"Slow down Castle! What has gotten you so excited over dinner?" She asked as he pulled out a shopping cart.

"Burgers!" He exclaimed, bouncing up and down. She placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him steady, sometimes she forgot he really was a nine year old on a sugar rush.

"You're excited over burger?" She raised an eyebrow as he nodded, grinning.

"Why couldn't we just buy some?" She asked, realizing her hand was still on his shoulder and pulling it away, looking down as if she had done something wrong.

"Nope. Alexis and I used to make burgers from scratch when she was smaller, it's really simple, but it was fun." He ran off into the store with the cart, hopping on it as he almost crashed into the cereal aisle.

She shook her head, smiling as she followed him into the store. When she finally caught up with him, her eyes bulged at the items he's already placed in the cart.

"Castle, I may not be Bobby Flay, but I'm pretty sure you don't make burgers with five packs of marshmallows, two bottles of chocolate syrup, bags of chocolate chips and a case of whipped cream." She scolded.

"No, but every house needs a healthy stock of junk food." He told her simply as he reached past her to pick up containers of ice cream.

"Healthy stock of junk food." She repeated, shaking her head at him as she reached past him to pick up some burger buns. He stopped her and took the pack of buns from her hand, shaking his head.

"What are you doing? Don't we need buns to put the burgers on?" She asked him, not expecting what he replied.

"We make those too." He told her, rushing down the aisle and picking up the ingredients to make burger buns.

When she finally caught up with him, he had stocked his cart with more reasonable things; meat for the burger, condiments to put on, juice, snacks and the works. She followed him wordlessly to the cashier, not saying anything as he picked up enough candy that would rot your teeth, it wasn't her place after all, to tell him what not to buy. She helped him carry the bags out to his car and load them in the trunk and they were off again.

They hadn't spoken about what had happened in her therapist's office and she could tell that he wanted to, but he wasn't going to push and she was happy for that. It just helped her to believe that maybe, just maybe, he was willing to wait for her, willing to wait as she sorted out the mess that was her life and pull herself back together somehow. She admired his patience for her, she knew if she was in his position, she probably couldn't do it.

Soon she got annoyed with the silence and moved to turn on the radio, she switched through radio stations that had nothing but the same songs playing over and over, some news about some celebrity. She finally found one that was playing one of her favourite songs, Elton John's "Your Song". She leaned back in the seat and began to sing quietly.

"_It's a little bit funny this feeling inside… I'm not one of those who can easily hide.." _

She hadn't realized she had started singing louder and louder, until she sensed Castle staring at her as he stopped at a traffic light. He mouth was slightly hanging open and his blue eyes were sparkling in awe, she ducked her head and stopped singing, feeling embarrassed, until he started singing the song.

"_I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is, when you're in the world."_ The song finished and she shyly looked up at him, he was looking at her with such raw emotion that it burned through her skin and made her heart beat faster. She could have sworn she saw his eyes dip down to look at her slightly parted lips before looking back up in her eyes and she could swear she saw him inch just a little bit closer to her. She could swear he could hear her heart beating faster. They were so lost in each other's eyes, displaying emotion and desperately hoping the other would understand what they were trying to say that they didn't realize the light had turned green and both jumped when they heard a car horn blasting behind them.

Clearing his throat, Castle focused his attention on the road and pressed on the gas and Kate turned off the radio. She could feel the thick tension in the air, hanging over her, willing her to tell him to pull over and just do what she so desperately wants to do, but she fought it down with the excuse, _I'm not ready. _

She didn't get to lose herself in her thoughts as they had finally pulled into Castle's parking garage and he had already reached around to the back of the car and began unloading the bags. She quickly jumped out of the car and ran to help. They made their way up to the loft, Castle with his arms so full was unable to reach for his key, so he rang the doorbell. Alexis immediately opened the door, with a confused look on her face.

"Dad?" She cocked her head, taking in the loads of bags he and Kate had in their hands and moved from the doorway to let them in.

Her face lit up as she saw what he was pulling out of the bags.

"Are we making burgers?" She asked excitedly. He nodded.

"I figured, we needed a fun thing to do after all this….. unfun stuff this we went through this week." He glanced from Alexis to Kate, who was helping to unload, unsure of where to put all the junk he bought.

"Unfun, isn't a word Castle." She said, not taking her attention off the groceries.

"Well it should be." He pouted.

"Stop, pouting, I'm hungry, let's get to it." She ordered, finally finding space in his fridge for the bottled of whipped cream and syrup.

Kate would have never thought making burgers from scratch with Castle and his daughter would end up on her top 10 favourite things to do. Somehow, without starting a food fight with all the food Castle was throwing around the place, they had made their own burgers. Kate had made a simple burger with cheese and the works, Castle added onion rings, mushrooms, bacon, potato chips and all different kinds of cheese to his, just looking at his made her heart burn. Alexis went with a regular burger as well, adding guacamole as it was her favourite.

"You guys are so boring." Castle huffed as he took his plate and made his way to the sofa. Kate and Alexis shared and eye roll and followed him with their own plates. Alexis sat on his left and Kate on his right, with a good distance in between. Castle eyed her suspiciously, but she just shrugged. She didn't want to risk giving into the feelings she's been having all night. Every time they brushed together while making the burgers had set Kate's skin on fire and sent all her blood down to her midsection. She especially didn't want to give into those feelings with Alexis around, so she kept her distance.

Castle decided to put on a movie as they ate, after a short argument, they settled on watching Thor 2. The night passed by quickly, as they joked around and acted out scenes in the movie. With all that happened this week, Kate couldn't be more thankful to Castle for this, she couldn't remember when the last time she felt so relaxed was. When the movie ended, Alexis excused herself to study. Castle rolled his eyes.

"I don't know where she gets it from, it's only 9." He told Kate, watching his daughter as she climbed the stairs before looking at Kate.

"So, Ice cream?" He asked his eyes bright with excitement and she couldn't help but to laugh at his boyish enthusiasm.

"Sure, why not." She smiled and followed him into the kitchen.

He pulled out the containers of ice cream he bought, "Which one?" he asked, balancing them on his arms.

"Mint-chocolate chip please." She told him, amusement clear in her voice.

"Good choice." He set the others back in the fridge and shared each of them a generous supply of ice cream. He handed her her glass, fingers brushing. She ducked her head, hoping he didn't see the blush that crept up to her cheeks.

They made their way back over the sofa as Castle put on another movie, a romantic movie she didn't know.

They watched in silence and they finished their ice cream, each of them stealing glances at the other as they unconsciously moved closer to each other. By the end of the movie, they had both fallen asleep, Kate with her head resting on Castle's shoulder, her feel drawn up underneath her and her hand resting lightly on his chest and Castle with his arm draped over her shoulder and his head on the back of the couch.

Kate woke up not long after, squinting around the room, she eased up off of Castle when she realized she was using him as her pillow. She stood up and was about to make her way up the stairs to sleep for the rest of the night, but looking at him, his mouth hanging open, his hair messed up, he just looked so cute, she realized _she didn't want to_. Not only did she not want to go up to the guest room, but she didn't want to sleep alone, she didn't want to _be_ alone, ever again. So she settled back onto the couch and back into his embrace, she smiled as his arm came around her holding him to her tightly.

She fell asleep thinking, she could get used to this.

**End A/N: I don't have much to say, but school starts tomorrow so updates… Yea idk how often they'll be. I hope you liked this chapter… Leave a review. Thanks **

**-Ashley**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I think this is the longest I've gone before updating, but you know, school, I haven't had time. It's the first week of school and I'm already getting headaches from lack of sleep. Sigh. Anyways, I hope I make up for the time with this chapter. Personally I love it and I hope you do too. I appreciate your reviews and kind words, thank you very much! Please, enjoy. **

Esposito stared across the table at the source of his disgust. He was refusing to cooperate and Esposito wanted to do nothing more than bash his head against the brick wall of the interrogation room. He sighed, rubbing his temple, looking to his right at Ryan who seemed to be lost in lost.

"Mr. Newman's fingerprint was found at detective Beckett's house when we found your letter. What relationship do you have with Mr. Newman?" Ryan asked.

"I don't know any Mr. Newman." Josh replied, smiling sickly.

"Cut the crap Josh! We know you had Mr. Newman involved in this somehow! We found his body this morning with YOUR fingerprints all over him! So what? You paid him to drop off a letter in detective Beckett's house and then to rid yourself of a witness you snap his neck? The fingerprints alone are enough to charge you Josh, so if I were you I'd start cooperating!" Esposito slammed his fists down on the desk, pushing his chair back as he stood up.

Josh looked surprised, shocked even and a little scared at Esposito's sudden outburst, he had shrank back and a look of terror crossed his face and Esposito made his way around to his side of the table and continued.

"Now it's against the law to physically harm you, but damnit! You mess with my friends and I will personally throw you this building window!" Esposito was now an inch away from his face, glaring into his eyes.

"Okay! Okay! Yea I paid him! But not to drop off the letter, I did that myself, I had him install cameras." Josh admitted, still scared from Esposito's threats.

Taking advantage of this man's admissions, Ryan perked up.

"Why'd you kill him?" He questioned.

"He started to get nervous about being caught, he wanted to turn himself in, I couldn't let that happen."

"And Mr. Manly, we found Mr. Newman's DNA on his body, what was his connection to all this?" Esposito asked, finally backing away from Josh.

"I don't know, I just know he worked with Mr. Newman. I didn't kill him!" Josh yelled.

Taking in this information. Ryan moved on to another topic.

"You do know your sentence is going to be increased for breaking out of jail?"

Josh nodded, Ryan continued.

"And you broke out to stalk a cop."

Josh's smile returned.

"I love her. We're going to get married soon."

Esposito shot him a dirty glare that had him flinching back in his chair.

"And when did you start stalking the detective Josh?"

"The day I got out, all day I watched her. All day."

Esposito shook his head.

"That's enough, we have more than enough to convict this guy. I don't wanna hear about his delusional fantasies about Beckett." He told Ryan, who nodded his head in agreement.

"L.T!" Ryan called, as the cop came in to take Josh away in handcuffs.

They walked out of the interrogation room to see Castle and Beckett, coffee cups in hand, stepping off of the elevator and did Beckett look _happy_?

"Well, just got a confession out of Josh to killing Mr. Newman and stalking… you." Esposito informed them.

Castle looked at Beckett, whose face had gone blank.

"So he's going back to jail?"

"Definitely, that guy's not gonna see the world again. I'll make sure of it." Espo growled.

Castle admired the big brother way Esposito went about this case, it made him feel better that Beckett always had people to look out for her, when he wasn't around. Speaking of Beckett, her face was still blank. He gently brushed his knuckle against hers to bring her back from wherever she went. She was brought back to the present immediately and she turned to look at Castle for a brief moment before turning away and sitting at her desk.

"Thanks guys." She told Ryan and Esposito thankfully.

She could finally breathe a sigh of relief, knowing this guy was captured. She only hoped he wouldn't escape again, she so desperately wanted to have her life back and work on herself and move forward in getting the one thing she really wanted, a relationship with this man who was always there for her. She could feel him looking at her as he sat, watching her intently, waiting for her to react, but she kept her face blank, she didn't feel like being read right now.

For the brief moment they made eye contact, Castle had seen glimmers of fear, worry, relief in her eyes, but mostly, he saw hope. He shared the feeling, he hoped this was the end of her nightmare and that she could be free. He only wanted the best for her.

The rest of the day passed by slowly as they only had paper work to do. Castle _hated_ paper work, so he excused himself to return to his loft to finish a chapter that was due 2 weeks ago. It was just a little past 7 when he heard the door opening, he assumed it was Alexis or his mother and was surprised to see Kate standing in his office doorway, her face stained with makeup that her tears had caused to run down her face.

In an instant he was out of his chair and pulling her in for a long hug, tucking her head under his chin.

"What is it Kate?"

"I don't know why I'm crying. Josh was caught, it's over, but still I'm crying." She managed to get our between sobs.

"You just need time to get over this Kate." He soothed, rubbing circles on her back, drawing her closer.

"I can't live like this Castle." She whispered, turning her head into his chest.

"You don't have to Kate, I'm here with you. I'm always here for you. You need time to get over this and you will and I want to help you, if you'd just let me. You don't have to do this alone."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

She nodded.

"Okay."

She pulled back, tears still silently running down her face, she looked at his shirt and smiled up at him apologetically.

"What?" He asked.

"I messed up your shirt." She looked down at his shirt again.

He followed her gaze and saw the smudges of her black eyeliner and mascara now stained onto his shirt.

"It will come out I'm sure." He said not really caring about the state of his shirt, only about Kate.

At moment, her stomach decided to come to life, grumbling loudly.

"Someone's hungry." Castle noted.

"Very." She admitted.

"Pizza?" He asked.

"Please."

He nodded and headed for the phone to order.

"I'm going to go… freshen up." She announced as she began to ascend the stairs.

She entered her bathroom, after grabbing another one of his shirts she had stolen from him and her sweat pants. She stripped herself of her work clothes and stepped into the shower, turning on the hot water.

She stood under the hot spray, thinking over everything that had happened and everything she was feeling. Apart from the usual fear and worry she had from her experiences with her stalker, she had other feelings, feelings for Castle. She was always aware of these feelings, but now, they were stronger than ever and she didn't know just how long she could hold them back. She had never admitted to herself she had feelings for him, she had always just dismissed the though, refusing to get involved with him, his playboy persona and two failed marriages making her afraid. Her heart was fragile enough, what if she decided to give this a shot and it ended up blowing up in her face, he would get bored of her and move on, her heart would shatter into more than a million pieces and she would _never_ be able to put herself back together again. She didn't think she was ready to take that risk and so she ignored the feeling.

But now, after spending the last few days in his house, sleeping with him in his bed, wearing his clothes, having him hold her while she cried, soothing her when she had nightmares, she knew she couldn't hide from her feelings anymore. She was falling in love with him, she could admit that to herself, Dr. Burke even, but not him, she was definitely not ready for that.

She had no doubts about his obvious love for her, sure it had taken her a while to see. It took the coaxing of her best friend and even her co-workers to acknowledge that Castle wasn't just around for the books and she wouldn't lie, that made her feel like she never had before.

When the water turned cold, she turned off the shower and stepped out of the shower, towelling her hair dry, she stared at herself in the mirror. She looked pretty much the same, except she was a little thinner and her eyes didn't have the sparkle they used to and she knew just what she had to do to get it back.

While she was upstairs, the pizza had arrived and Castle was rummaging around in his cupboards for glasses for their drinks. When he heard her coming down the stairs, he turned and froze when he saw her, his heart swelling. She was wearing his red T-shirt, it was big for her, so it exposed a bit of her collar bones and her shoulder, her hair framed her face and was dripping onto the shirt. She had on a pair of black sweatpants and he thought she was the most beautiful woman ever. She wore no make-up, he face looked fresh and young. He had to distract himself before he did, or said something that would cause her to run, he had agreed to let him help her and he would take it and not push. He had realized if he had any chance of being with her, he had to let her control things, to let her feel comfortable and not push. He turned his attention back to the soda he was pouring for them, deciding to skip the wine tonight, wine didn't go well with pizza anyways.

They shared their pizza and moved to the living room, Castle picked up his laptop and continued to write, apologizing to her, explaining that he really had to get this chapter finished before Gina came hounding him for it. She nodded and picked up a book that was on the nightstand.

"The Fault in Our Stars"

He noticed her pick up and the book and explained.

"I don't usually read those types of books, but somehow I came across this and can I tell you I John Green is a cruel man. Don't tell anyone about this though." He told her. She laughed.

"You don't have to explain Castle, we all have that sensitive side." She teased, "You just have more than most men."

He pouted at her, "You wound me."

She opened the book and began to read and he continued writing. The room feel silent, with only the sound of Castle typing and Kate laughing at something in the book and turning the pages ever so often.

A little time later, she closed the book and stared at Castle with an unreadable expression on her face.

"What?" He looked up at her.

"I don't know what to feel." She said, looking down at the book in her hands.

Castle nodded, "I understand. John Green is cruel, cruel man."

She picked up another book and began to read. When he finally finished his chapter, he looked over at her, she had fallen asleep, the book open in her lap and her head resting against the back of the chair. He smiled as his heart filled with love, love for her. He didn't want to wake her up, but she was bound to be sore in the morning. So he stood, stretching the stiffness out of his hand and bent down to pick her up, she remained asleep as he headed for his room. He placed her on his bed, drawing the covers over her and crawled in on the other side, keeping his distance to avoid scaring her. It seemed she had other plans as she immediately rolled into him, stretching her hand across his chest and sighing in contentment. She smiled and drifted off to sleep.

In the following weeks she had kept true to her agreement that she would let him help her. So he did, he followed her to her therapy sessions, sometimes waiting outside or following her inside when he was invited. She had gone back to her apartment, but she would call if she had a nightmare and he would be right over.

He decided to take this one step further. He knew she had feelings for him but was too stubborn and scared to admit it and he knew she knew he had feelings for her. So he decided to ask her out on a simple dinner date, she wouldn't say no, would she?

"Kate I was thinking." He began one day, sitting in his usual chair beside her desk as they wrapped up another case.

"Oh no." She responded.

"Ha ha, funny." He glared at her.

"What were you thinking Castle?" She asked, giving him her attention.

"Will you go on a date with me?" He blurted out, mentally preparing himself for her to say no.

"Okay." She said quietly after a while.

He stared at her, "Okay? Did you just say okay? As in, okay you'll go on a date with me?" He asked, making sure he heard correctly.

"Can't imagine what else I would be saying okay to Castle." She rolled her eyes at him.

He sat there and stared at her, before standing up quickly, drawing her attention. She looked up at him and raised her eyebrow.

"I have to make some calls." He pulled out his phone and walked over to the elevator, "Is tonight alright?"

She nodded.

"Great, I'll text you with plans okay" He said as he made his way over to the elevator.

Kate Beckett had agreed to go on a date with him. She said okay. He felt like he was dreaming, he couldn't be sure this was real life, it sure felt like it. He was on cloud nine as he called his favourite restaurant. He didn't want to do anything _too_ serious. So he decided on a friendly restaurant, not too far from his place, romantic, but not overwhelmingly romantic. He was going to get Kate Beckett one way or the other.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

At 7:30 her doorbell rang, she checked herself again in her mirror. Castle had texted earlier, told her to dress casually but classy. She decided on black skinnies, her heels and a purple dress top. She pulled on her coat and moved towards her door, checking the peephole to make sure it was him.

She opened her door and assessed the man standing before her. He was wearing black pants and a purple dress shirt.

"We match" He smiled.

"We do. So Castle, wanna tell me where we're going." She asked, accepting his arm as she left her apartment, closing her door behind her.

"You'll see detective." He grinned.

He ushered her into the waiting car and they drove off to the restaurant. She had never been to this restaurant before, it was a large dining room, with paper lanterns softly lighting the room, creating a romantic mood, but it didn't make her feel uncomfortable. She noticed other couples engrossed in each other, but she noticed there were also families around. The place was perfect and the food smelled great. They took their order, both deciding on pasta of some sort. Shortly after, their food arrived and she dug in.

"Mmmmm. This is so good!" She moaned, closing her eyes to savour the taste, before taking another bite.

"I'm glad you think so. This is one of my favourite places to eat and as you can tell, they have the best pasta. What I love about this restaurant is that it's not specific, you can get whatever you want," He told her, taking a forkful of his own pasta as she continued to savour her own.

"You chose well Rick." She praised him.

"Only the best for you Kate." He responded softly.

She looked at his and saw the love he had for her practically shinning out of his eyes and she realized, it didn't scare her anymore and she didn't want to run. Well, she did want to run, right into his arms and stay there forever.

"I have a surprise for you." He said, grinning slightly.

She narrowed her eyes, "You know I hate surprises."

"I know, but I know you'll love this one." He winked at her as he stood up, making his way to the small stage they had in the centre of this dining room. She saw him whisper something to the pianist, who nodded and began to play the tune of one of her favourite songs. Her eyes teared up immediately.

"Good evening everybody, I have a little gift for a special friend of mine, if you don't mind." He began, pulling a mike off a stand, he has everyone's attention in the room now and he was staring right at her.

"This song is for someone special, someone very dear to me, I know she loves this song and I think it's just so appropriate, especially since she believes she can do everything on her own. She'll probably kill me for this, but it's worth it." He continued, still staring at her. The persons in the dining room were now looking between him and her, with looks of awe on their faces as he began to sing.

_When you're weary, feeling small_

_When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all_

_I'm on your side, oh when times get rough_

_And friends just can't be found_

_Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down_

_Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down_

He watched her while he sang, she didn't even know he could sing so well. She could feel the tears starting to spill and fall down her cheeks and he sang, taking in the meaning of what he was singing to her. This man was truly amazing, she thought to herself, she knew he was always there for her through everything she's been through and she was so in love with him.

_When you're down and out, when you're on the street, _

_When evening falls so hard, I will comfort you_

_I'll take your part, when darkness comes_

_And pain is all around_

_Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down_

_Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down_

Her mind flashed back to all the times he had been there for her, especially in the last month, how many times he held her until her tears stopped, how long he'd stay on the phone with her when she just wanted company, how he'd put himself in danger just to keep her safe. She couldn't believe she waited this long to admit to her feelings for this man. She was feeling so strong about him and she couldn't keep it in anymore, she had to tell him. She wanted to try. If she wasn't ready now, she wouldn't ever be. She smiled a shaky smile as he stepped down from the stage and came to stand in front of her to sing the last verse. Just like the song, the drummers came in at this point, this was always her favourite part of the song.

_Sail on silver girl, sail on by_

_Your time has come to shine, all your dreams are on their way_

_See how they shine, oh if you need a friend_

_I'm sailing right behind_

_Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind_

_Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind._

She noticed the tears that were slowly falling down Castle's face as the song ended and the room erupted in applause. Him singing this song had meant so much to her. This was him telling her he'd always be her friend, always be there when she feels no one else is, always supporting her, ready to be her bridge over troubled water. Ignoring the rest of the persons in the room, she stood and made her way to him, his hands came to rest on her hips, holding her to him as the room watched in anticipation for what was to happen.

"Thank you." She whispered, tipping on her toes and pressing her lips to his, softly.

She always thought when she finally admitted how she felt and gave in, their kiss would have been more…. rushed than this. This kiss was gentle, but still so intense, she pressed herself against him, wrapping her arms around his neck, inhaling his intoxicating scent, losing herself in him. Their lips brushed against each other's in the gentlest, most intense way. Her head was spinning when they finally broke apart and he was staring at her with all the love her had for her, if he wasn't holding onto her so tightly, she was sure her knees would have buckled as she was completely melted by that kiss. She leaned in again deciding she wasn't done yet, she threaded her fingers through his hair as she kissed him, a little more urgent than before, but still gentle and still bone melting. She wondered how she could have gone so long without this, her heart felt whole and filled with love, love for him and she just felt happy here in his arms, she never wanted to be anywhere else.

This time, it was him whole pulled away, resting his forehead on hers.

"I take it you liked your surprise." He beamed.

"I loved my surprise." She told him, looking into his eyes, trying to tell him what she couldn't quite say yet.

He seemed to have understood as he nodded.

"I meant every word of it y'know."

"I know."

"So is this you, giving us a shot?" He asked hopefully. She leaned up to kiss him again, cupping his cheek with her hand. She pulled away smiling.

"It is." She told him.

"We're gonna be great." He promised, wrapping his arms around her.

They were so lost in each other, in their own little world, they didn't remember the room full of people who had just witnessed something big, watching them with tears in their eyes.

"It'll be worth it, I promise. Okay?"

She buried her face in his chest, trying to contain the strong feelings she was suddenly being overwhelmed with.

"Okay."

**End A/N: Yes, I just had to put John Green in there since that book ripped my heart out and stabbed it so many times. Those of you that know that book (which I hope you do) them saying "okay." Was basically the same as them saying "always" cause that was another couples word and they were like "Maybe okay can be our always." And yea, I hope you didn't hate that reference. The song Castle sings is "Bridge over troubled water – Simon & Garfunkel" The song has been in my head since Tessanne sang it on The Voice and I just had this scene in my head since then and I feel happy with it. You should listen to the song, bother versions… But the version here is Simon & Garfunkel's version (That I am listening to as we speak… or as I type… whatever) I hope you guys don't feel like the kiss and the next step they took was rushed or… wrong. So tell me what you think please? Thanks! Further updates will most likely come on weekends… I make no promises for updates during the week. So stick with me and we'll see where they go. I have more scenes in my head that I really wanna get to, but I don't wanna rush so, I hope you'll all stick around to see it. Anyways, I'm off to annoy my brother. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to leave me a review!**

**(Oh last time I gave you the wrong tumblr name. I'm cloudywithachanceofcaskettt . tumblr . com … 3 t's, not 2 .. If you want to follow me and I'm Ohsnapitzzash on twitter if anyone has any questions or anything. Okay bye!)**

**Ashley**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hiii! It's the weekend! Hallelujah! You guys saw that Castle sneak peak? I don't wanna spoil anyone so I'm not gonna talk about it, but … It was so cute :3… ANYWAYS! Here's another chapter for you guys. Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. I'm glad you liked the song choice I hope you'll like this chapter. I'll stop talking and let you get right on to the reading now!**

**Disclaimer: You can't always get what you want….**

The room erupted in loud applause, startling the two, making them jumping apart. They had forgotten they weren't alone and stood in the middle of the room, Castle's arms wrapped tightly around Kate's waist and his head buried in her hair, while he head was buried in his chest. She looked up at him and laughed, as the applause died down. He smiled down at her, cupping her face with his hand, leaning down for another, soft kiss, which had her leaning into him, sighing. When he pulled apart, she leaned after him, not wanting the kiss to end.

"I think it's time we get out of here." He whispered in her ear, his warm breath making her shiver.

She nodded. "I think so too."

Keeping one arm around her waist, not wanting to lose contact, he reached into pants and pulled out a hundred dollar bill, leaving it on the table and tugged her out of the restaurant. They stepped out into the cool October night, she leaned into him, feeling his heat.

"Is this even real?" He asked quietly.

"What?" She asked.

He stopped and turned her around to face him, the pure joy in her face had him smiling. He softly touched her face, tracing a finger down her cheek, to her lips.

"You… This … Us." He answered, staring at her with intense love and passion.

She reached up, grabbing his hand and placed kisses in the middle of his palm, before nuzzling her cheek into the warm curve of his palm.

"I'm wondering the same thing." She admitted.

"Kiss me." He requested.

She lowered his hand, interlacing her fingers with his. Leaning up, she captured his lips in a loving kiss. A soft moan escaped from him, as he buried his other hand in her hair, effectively pulling her closer to him. Their lips moved together, slowly, but intense and she could feel the effect this kiss was having on her all over. She was melting into him as he drew her closer. They kept the kiss simple, not want to go too far in the middle of the streets of New York.

When she felt Castle tongue brush over her lips, she broke the kiss, before she lost all control.

"Mmmmm" He hummed, his eyes still closed as he rested his forehead against hers, "I think it's real."

She ran her fingers through his hair as she smiled, "Good."

Turning back on their path, she tugged on the hand she still held to get him moving.

"In a hurry are we?" He winked at her.

"I'm cold." She told him.

Immediately, he stopped, removing his jacket and placed it around her shoulders.

"You women, I swear you never dress for cold weather. You just like to steal our jackets." He said in mock annoyance.

She rolled her eyes, "How did you know?" She gasped.

They continued walking down the street, hand in hand, back to his loft, taking their time, not wanting this magical night to end. They were passing a store that was playing music.

"I love this song!" Kate exclaimed, turning to Castle with a spark in her eye.

"Dance with me?" She asked, stepping up to him.

"_Take my hand, I'll teach you to dance. _

_I'll spin you around, won't let you fall down._

_Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet._

_Give it a try, it'll be alright"_ She sang along with the song as he began to dance with her, in the middle of the streets on New York.

"_The room's hush hush and now's our moment._

_Take it in, feel it all and hold it_

_Eyes on you, eyes on me._

_We're doing this right." _

They stared into each other's eyes and they danced slowly, completely absorbed in each other.

Castle still couldn't believe this was real. He thought this was some kind of dream, a dream he didn't want to wake up from. As he watched her, he wondered what he did to deserve her. This beautiful woman who was looking up at him, with those breath-taking green eyes. He was feeling so overwhelmed and he felt like he was about to explode with all the happiness he was feeling. He wondered if she was feeling the same thing.

She looked up at him, wondering what he was thinking. He looked so … _happy_ and she couldn't help but feel ecstatic, knowing she was the one to put that look on his face. She felt him draw her closer and she smiled, letting the feeling of happiness and love take over. She wondered why she waited so long for this, waited so long to just let go and let Castle love her. It hadn't even been an hour and already she felt so loved, and she loved it. She couldn't deny how in love with him she was anymore, she didn't want to. She had never felt like this about anyone before, she had never had anyone complete her so much. It was obvious he was her soul mate, in the way he filled her, finished her sentences, knew her thoughts, knew her desires, and knew what she wanted. He just knew everything about her and no matter how often she told him to leave, he stayed and she loved him for it.

"_'Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love_

_Spotlight's shining. It's all about us_

_It's all_

_About us_

_And every heart in the room will melt_

_This is a feeling I've never felt_

_But it's all about us"_

She dropped her head into his chest as he slowed their movement and begun to rock them from side to side. He sang into her hair.

"_Suddenly I'm feeling brave_

_Don't know what's got into me_

_Why I feel this way_

_Can we dance real slow?_

_Can I hold you real close?"_

She looked up at him again, making eye contact. She was never good at expressing her feelings through her own words, but she hoped he would understand her message to him through this song, it wasn't an out there song… but it made sense.

"_Do you hear that love? They're playing our song_

_Do you think we're ready? Oh, I'm really feeling it_

_Do you hear that love? Do you hear that love?"_

She noticed the look of understanding and determination in his eyes. They continued to sway as the song finished, they stood there, staring into each other's eyes, both sending a message they felt, but didn't want to speak out loud yet. He drew her into a tight hug.

"Let's go home Castle." She murmured.

"As you wish." He smiled.

They continued the walk home, finally reaching to Castle's apartment. They stepped into the elevator, waiting for the doors to close and take them up to Castle's floor. As the doors closed, he crowded her and crashed his lips to hers, he arms flew around his neck instantly as he pressed her into the wall of the elevator. She moaned as she felt him gently roll his hips into her. She drew her nails down his back as she tried to get in a position that allowed for more contact.

He groaned as they brushed against each other again, he grabbed a handful of her hair, pulling on it gently, to reveal her neck. He moved from her lips, across her jaw, kissing every inch of skin as he went, he kissed a path down her neck until he reached her pulse point and began to suck on it, hard enough that no doubt, it would leave a mark in the morning, but she didn't care. She gasped as he bit down on her neck and stuck his tongue out to soothe the burn, her hips jerked into his.

They pulled apart as the elevator doors opened, quickly exited and making their way to Castle's door. He opened the door as they stumbled through. He kicked the door and pressed her up on it, resuming their elevator activities. He kissed across her collar bone, inching away her shirt, to expose more skin. Her skin was on fire, everywhere he kissed was on fire. His hands sneaked up under her shirt, stopping at the base of her bra, he rubbed his thumb lightly across the skin there. Her breath hitched as she tugged on his hair, to bring his lips back to hers. She felt his tongue on her lips, asking for entry, she obliged. His tongue entered her mouth, hot and wet and searching. His hands continued to explore the skin under her shirt, leaving a blazing trail. He pulled away, to pull her shirt over her head and trail kisses down her chest, he stopped at the valley between her breasts, moving across to kiss the flesh her bra had not covered. She groaned loudly, tangling her fingers in his hair. He continued his path down her stomach, making to not to miss any patch of skin. He stopped the top of her pants.

Slowly, he unbuttoned her pants, tugging it down painfully slowly, kissing her flesh that he exposed. He pulled her pants all the way down to her ankles and she kicked off her shoes and stepped out of her pants.

"Castle" She pleaded, her voice barely a whisper.

He moved back up her body, hands roaming around her back and rest on her butt. She let out a growl and tugged at his hair as their lips made contact again. Her desperate whimpering captured by his mouth as they kissed. There was nothing gentle about the kiss, it was hot, wet, heavy and desperate. She bit down on his lip, causing his hips to jerk hard into hers, gasping, she broke the kiss and worked on unbuttoning his shirt. Getting impatient and frustrated with him for still having on so much clothes, she yanked the shirt open, buttons flying, scattering across the floor. She flipped their positions, pinning him against the door.

"Whoa. That's hot." He commented, his voice husky, turning on her more.

She attached her lips to his chest, returning what he did to her. He moaned loudly as she gently palmed his throbbing erection, begging to be freed. Wasting no time, she unbuttoned his pants, tugging them down. She admired the strain in his boxers, staring up at him, she smirked as she rubbed him through his boxers. His head dropped back against the door as he groaned. She drew her lower lip into her mouth, as she watched him unravel in front of her.

"Stop" He breathed "I won't last any longer if you keep that up."

She let go of him and made her way back up to him, meeting his lips. This kiss was nothing like the frenzied kisses they had shared not too long ago, it was soft, tender and full of love and somehow it managed to be heavier than the others. Leaving them both wanting more.

He lifted her up effortlessly, she wrapped her legs around his waist, surprised at his strength. He began moving to his bedroom. Gently, he laid her on his bed, standing back to look at her. He looked down at her, dressed in nothing but in purple lacy underwear.

A few weeks ago, he never thought this would have ever happened. That he would have Kate Beckett, lying in bed, half naked. Staring up at him with eyes full of love and lust, her face flushed red and her lips swollen from kissing.

"It's rude to stare Castle." She whispered, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"You're beautiful." He told her, his voice serious.

Her face broke out into a smile, "You're not so bad yourself Castle."

He moved over her, supporting his weight with his elbow. He brushed a strand of hair out of her face as he admired her, tracing his finger over every curve of her face, her eyebrows, he nose, her eyelashes, her lips. He still couldn't believe it.

She reached up and pulled him down for a kiss. He reacted immediately, pressing himself on her, trapping her between his body and the mattress. She jerked her hips up into his, which elicited a growl from him. His hands moved behind her to unhook her bra, he tugged it down her arms and threw it somewhere on the floor. Moving down her body, he sucked a nipple into his mouth as he massaged the other with his hand. She gaped as she threw her head back into the pillows. He moved over to the other breast, giving it the same treatment, causing her to writhe and wriggle under his body, begging for more. He placed a hand on her waist to stop her movements as he released her nipple and moved down her stomach. She hissed at the loss of his warm mouth over her nipple. He kissed his way down her thighs, kissing the inside of her thighs. She jerked as he kissed everywhere but where she wanted him to.

"Castle." She moaned, fisting his hair.

He dipped a finger down the edge of her panties and tugged them down, marvelling in how wet she was for him. He pulled her panties off and threw them to meet her bra. He continued kissing her inner thigh, moving closer to her heat as she thrust her hips, desperate for release. He moved back up her body, his hands slowly, roaming her skin.

He tugged his boxers off, freeing himself, not wanting to hold this out any longer. She had grown silent as he lined himself up to her about to enter her.

"Castle" She whispered again, her voice wavering.

"Mmm." He answered, looking up at her, startled to find her cheeks shining with tears.

"Castle, stop" She whimpered.

"Kate, what's wrong?" He asked, worried.

"I just… I'm sorry... I can't." She closed her eyes.

"Come on Kate, talk to me." He pleaded. She was so eager minutes ago, what could have possibly caused her to shut down so suddenly.

"Kate is this because of …. Him?" He whispered in her ear.

She nodded.

"I'm sorry." She cried.

"Hey, no. Sssh, it's okay Kate." He rolled on his side and pulled her in his arms as she cried.

He should have known this was going to happen, should have known that this was still going to haunt their lives. He wasn't going to push her and was willing to help her through this, he wasn't going to let this ruin them. He waited years for her, he could wait for this. She was worth it. He wanted her to know that. Sex wasn't what he wanted, he wanted her and he was going to wait for her to be ready.

Like many nights, he held her while her body shook as she cried, rubbing his hand up and down her arm, trying to comfort her.

"I'm sorry, Castle. I don't know what happened." She spoke into his chest.

"It's okay Kate, I understand." He replied softly. "Take your time, I'll wait for you."

"Really?" She asked, sounding nervous.

"Always."

**End A/N: Sooo? Firstly, I hope you guys don't hate like… songs in fics. Personally that's the best way I express myself, so it kind of comes out in this… I hope you guys don't hate it. Sesond, I've never written smut before… I hope it's okay :/ Granted, I was completely distracted while I wrote it. You know when you're writing and you're listening to music and singing along and you end up writing the lyrics of the song.. Yeah, that was happening, so I'm sorry if it's… bad. But I hope it's not. I didn't want to end this chapter like this after all the fluff earlier on in the chapter, but it just ran like this. But yea, I hope this chapter was okay for you guys Leave a review, let me know! Thanks! As usual, I'll be back next week or earlier (I make no promises). Bye! Oh and the song in this was "All About Us – He Is We Ft. Owl City." You should listen to it, if you don't already know it. Yea okay... Bye! **

**Ashley**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I'm back! Right on time, I would have updated yesterday, but I was updating my other story Small Bump since everyone was freaking out about that one… and then I wrote another one called "Meet Me In The Supply Closet" You guys should read those… Yes Anywho, here is chapter 15. Hope you like it!**

When she woke the next morning, she could feel his nude body pressed against her side. She rolled over to face him as the memories of last night's events came flooding back. She closed her eyes, feeling embarrassed about her reaction. She reached up and ran her fingers lightly through his messed up hair.

Suddenly feeling too confined, she wriggled herself free of his grip and eased off of the bed, tip-toing her way to his bathroom. She grabbed his shirt on the way and pulled it over her head. She stared at herself in the mirror, she was a mess, her make-up was all over the place and her hair was sticking up in every place. Quickly, she rinsed her face free of make-up and dragged Castle's brush through her hair to try and tame it.

Her thoughts were racing and she felt dizzy, she couldn't believe when they had come so close to doing the night before, only to have her ruin it. She needed to get out of the loft and away from his presence. She needed to think this over. She exited the bathroom and went in search of her pants, when she found them, she pulled them on and got a pad and paper to write a note for him when he woke and then she was out the door.

She pulled her jacket tightly around herself as she exited his building, facing the wintry air of New York, it was a little pass noon and the sun shining directly overhead took some of the cool edge off of the day.

She walked aimlessly for a while, before heading to the swings where she and Castle used to meet. She thought about the night's events, she blushed as she thought about how he expertly turned her into jelly so easily. She thought about how aggressive he was, but still gentle and how that completely did it for her. She thought about the elevator ride up to his loft, how he pushed himself on her, how they stumbled through his door and couldn't even wait to get to the bedroom before stripping each other, desperately needing contact.

She thought about his mouth and his tongue that drove her crazy and had her begging for him, she thought about how he carried her to his bed and told her she was beautiful. She thought about how patient he was with her, how he waited years for her. She thought about how much she loved him and how long she loved him but could never admit it even to herself. She thought about how they would be together. She thought about how he looked at her, how much he loved her.

She thought about him about to cross that line with her, take her soaring, and make her see the stars. But then she thought of _him _and the all too familiar position she was in. She saw his face and felt him pushing into to her and she was taken back to that moment, that moment she so desperately wanted to forget and she shut down. She told him to stop and she broke down.

She felt so ashamed of herself for not being able to do this. She felt like a baby. She thought about how Castle held her tight, letting her cry, ignoring his own needs. He must hate her now, finally realizing how much baggage she carried with her. Surely, he wouldn't want her still and that broke her. She sniffed as she furiously wiped at the tears that were streaming down her face. Maybe it was too soon for her, maybe she wasn't ready for this. What did it matter? He wouldn't want her again.

"Are you okay lady?" A small voice asked.

Startled, she looked down to see a little girl, no older than 6 six staring up at her with big, green, concerned eyes.

"I'm fine." She smiled weakly, wiping at her face.

"Then why are you crying?" She questioned, tilting her head to the side, her brown ponytail bouncing.

"I just had a bad night." She told the girl truthfully. She studied the girl standing in front of her. She was dressed in a simple white T-Shirt, jeans and shoes. She looked dirty, like she was rolling in dirt. Her big green eyes were silently questioning her. Kate smiled, she reminded her of herself when she was younger.

"My dad always said when you have a bad day, you should cuddle up in a couch with someone you love and watch bad movies and eat plenty ice cream." She informed her, placing her hands on her hips, "Don't you love anybody?"

She thought about it, she did, but did he still love her?

"I do." She admitted quietly, shaking her head for having this discussion with a child. But children were smart, they were observant and young and unbiased. They only wanted the best out of people and had no worries and they were almost always right.

"Then what are you doing here?" The girl gestured to the swings.

"Michelle!" A man who looked to be in his late 30's came rushing over. He looked tired and dishevelled.

"Michelle! What have I told you about talking to strangers?" The man asked, panting heavily.

The girl rolled her eyes and turned to her father, "But daaaad, if I don't talk to strangers how do you expect me to make any friends?" She reasoned

Kate couldn't help but laugh. "Your dad's right, strangers are dangerous." She told the child, aware of her father's scrutinizing gaze on her.

"You're not dangerous." The girl folded her arms and pouted.

"I am to bad guys." She winked.

"Do you beat up bad guys?" The girl leaned forward, "Because my dad says ladies shouldn't fight, he always punishes me when I get into fights at school." She pouted again.

"Well, you pick your fights, but, I'm a cop, so it's my job to fight." She told her, smiling.

Her eyes widened, "You're a cop?"

"Mhm." She confirmed.

"Cops don't cry." She said matter-of-factly.

"Cops are humans too." She smiled softly, as her father grabbed the little girl's hand, trying to pull her away.

"Come on Michelle, let's leave the nice lady alone." He pulled her away.

"Byee nice cop lady!" The girl waved over her shoulder as she was pulled away.

Kate smiled, somehow feeling a bit better after having a conversation with a six year old. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, she took it out and checked the caller ID. Castle. She took a deep breath, preparing to hear that maybe this was a mistake with her.

"Castle." She answered.

"Where are you?" He asked, sounding sleepy.

"I just… I just had to get out and clear my head." She told him, biting her cheek.

"Will you be back soon?" He asked, sounding hopeful.

"Do you want me back?" She asked before she realized what was leaving her mouth. She closed her eyes and held her breath waiting for him to answer.

"Why wouldn't I?" She could hear him moving around in his bed, that wide, comfortable bed.

"I don't know. Look, I have to go. I have an appointment with Dr. Burke now and I should get going." She told him.

"Do you need company?" He sounded more awake now.

"No!" She blurted out, "Sorry… Just … I need to do this alone." She whispered.

"Okay Kate." He sighed.

"Bye Castle." She hung up and stood, hailing a cab to take her to her appointment.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

He flopped back down on the pillows. How could he be so stupid? He knew she couldn't have possibly been ready for such a huge step. Now she was running again. One step forward five steps backwards. He sighed running his hands over his face and dragging himself out of bed. He picked up his shorts off the floor and pulled them on, noticing her note.

"_Hey Castle, went out for a walk._

_Kate"_

He hoped he hadn't ruined everything, he just hoped she didn't close herself off again. Last night had been amazing, she had decided to give it a chance and then he had to ruin it. He waited for years before, so why couldn't he wait some more, until she was comfortable.

He told her he'd wait for her, she sounded surprised. He knew she still thought of him as that reckless, playboy, who would get tired of her and leave her, hurt her. But he could never, he invested so much into this, he was in love with her and he couldn't live with anyone else but her. He had to make her know that. He hoped she'd come back to his loft when she was done with her therapy, he needed to have her close to him. He needed to let her know, he was in this all the way and that he'd never hurt her. She needed to know.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"He took me on a date." She told her doctor, not looking at him. She was seated in the usual chair across from him, with her shoes kicked off and her legs tucked under her.

"And is there something wrong with that?" He asked.

"No. It was … It was amazing." She shook her head and smiled.

"Then why do you look so torn up about it?" He pressed.

"He took me to this fancy restaurant. He sang to me and then I just knew I couldn't hold out anymore. He was there, like he always was, telling me he would always be there for me and I just realized that I didn't want to wait." She glanced at her doctor, who nodded encouraging her to continue.

"We kissed," She ducked her head and blushed, as if she was telling this story to her father instead of her therapist, "He was so… soft. We left the restaurant, danced in the streets of New York. It was perfect." She breathed, twirling a lock of hair between her fingers as she flashed back to their night before it went downhill.

"But?" He questioned.

"Things got a bit heated. Then I freaked out." She admitted.

"You freaked out? Why?" He tilted his head and crossed his legs, staring at her intently.

"I just… It was the same scene as my… incident and I just saw _him_ and I couldn't do it, so I freaked." She turned away from his gaze.

"What did he do?"

"He said he'd wait for me and held me while I broke down." She could feel Castle's protective arms around her and ached to be held by him again. "But, what if he changed his mind? What if after that, he thinks I'm not worth it? What if he moves on?"

"He won't."

"How could you possibly know that?" She looked back at him.

"I see the way he looked at you Kate, when he was here, how he spoke to you. How he sat, unconsciously positioning his body however you moved. He loves you Kate and you know it, so why are you believing otherwise now?"

She bit her lip and thought, why was she?

"I guess, it just feels too good to be true. I'm afraid to throw myself into this and it doesn't work out." She admitted.

"It won't if you keep running from him. Have you spoken to him about this?"

She shook her head, "No."

"You should."

She sighed, she knew she should. She wanted to be with him, so badly. It pained her right now to be away from him. She wanted to wrap herself up in the safe embrace of his strong arms and inhale his scent and just lose herself in him. She wanted to so badly to just let go and just be. So why was she fighting it? She decided she had to talk to him, right away.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

He slammed his laptop shut in frustration. He was trying to write another chapter for his book, but he couldn't focus, not with the uncertainty of their relationship. Two hours passed since he called her and he hadn't heard a word from her. He knew her therapy session only lasted 45 minutes and she should have been back by now …. If she was even coming back.

At that moment, he heard a key turn in the lock and he stood, feeling hopeful. The door swung open to reveal her standing in his doorway.

"Kate." He breathed, aching to run over to her and kiss her fiercely, if he wanted this to work, clearly he was going to have to be in better control of his emotions and hormones.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as she stalked over to him and pulled his face down to his, kissing him hard. He immediately responded, resting his hands on her hips and pulling her closer. He pulled away before he got too carried away and rested his head on her shoulder, panting heavily on her neck.

"I'm sorry too." He murmured.

"About last night, Castle I – " He pulled back and looked in her eyes. They were red and puffy, he could tell she had been crying. She had been doing a lot of that lately and it broke him to see.

"Kate, it's okay, you don't have to talk about it." He assured her.

She shook her head, "If this relationship is going to work, I have to." She told him, looking into his eyes.

He nodded, understanding that she needed this. He led her over to the couch and sat, close beside each other, facing each other.

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for freaking out last night," she apologized, "It's just, I felt like the incident was happening all over again and I just couldn't."

"It's okay Kate, I understand." He rubbed his palm on her thigh.

"No, it's not. I don't want to be like this Castle," She rested her hand over his on her thigh and laced their fingers together, "I want this. I want you."

"I want you too." He whispered.

"Do you? I mean, with all the baggage I carry, are you sure you still want me?" She asked quietly, needing to know.

He used his index finger to lift her chin, forcing her to look at him. His eyes were intense, full of love and determination.

"I will always want you Kate, you're not just some game to me. You're everything to me and I will never stop fighting for you, I'll never stop waiting for you. I want you to be happy Kate. I'll never hurt you. I don't want anyone else but you, you have to know that." He stared into her eyes, telling her how he felt.

Her eyes were filling up with tears as he spoke. She felt sorry for ever thinking otherwise, she wiped her eyes.

"I want you too." She smiled through her tears.

"Good, because I don't think I could function without you." He leaned down to lightly kiss her lips.

"Let's just… take it slow though okay?" She asked, glancing up at him.

"Anything you want, I'll do it." He promised pulling her into his chest. She smiled into his chest, snuggling into his arms as they tightened around her. She breathed him in and immediately felt relaxed, all the tension from the day drained out of her. She wrapped her arms around his and kissed his chest.

"I'm glad we had this conversation." She whispered.

"Me too." He kissed the top of her head.

Maybe it wasn't going downhill after all she thought, maybe this would work. It had to work, she realized she was being stupid, thinking he wouldn't want her, he had proven time and time and time again over the years how deep his love for her went and she was just finding out how deep her love for him went and she was ready to embrace that. Maybe not ready to tell him yet or show him in _that_ way, but she could settle for admitting it to herself and being with him. She would get there one day and when she did it would be perfect. They would be perfect.

**End A/N: Did you agree with how this was handled? Or does it feel OOC to you? *things I would like to know* Still, I hope you liked it and for those of you still reading this story and those of you who are just joining, thank you for all your reviews and stuff, wouldn't be writing this without your kindness **

**Ashley **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: So I don't have much to say for once. I just hope you enjoy this chapter. **

He woke up the next morning, automatically reaching out to where she slept last night, but she wasn't there. He sat up instantly, blinking away the sleep and reached for his phone to check the time. _8:36am_. He looked around the room, wondering where she was. Worry settled in the pit of his stomach when it crossed his mind that maybe she ran away again. No, they talked about this, they were going to do this, they were going to take it slow and she was in this.

He stumbled out of the bed and made his way out to the living room, where he saw her. He relaxed and his heart swelled as he watched her in his shirt, moving around the kitchen, looking so at home. She moved between the fridge and stove and instantly his nose was assaulted by the delicious aroma of whatever she was cooking. Moving forward slowly, making her aware of his presence so as not to startle her.

"Morning." He greeted.

She looked up at him and smiled, "Morning." She was so adorable when she smiled like that, he thought to himself. "I figured I'd make you breakfast, after all that you've done for me, before I have to head off to the precinct."

He looked over what she was making, a simple omelette, stuffed with ham and cheesy goodness, his stomach rumbled loudly.

"Someone's hungry." She laughed, dishing the omelette out on a plate and placing it in front of him.

"Voila!" She grinned.

"Kate, this smells delicious." He picked up a fork and took a bite. He closed his eyes and let out a moan, "Oh my God, this is awesome." He quickly took another bite and then another.

"Careful there big boy, wouldn't want you burning your tongue … You need it for _other things._" She flirted, winking at him and she dished out her own and unlike him, taking the time to cool it, before stuffing her face.

Castle's fork fell to the plate and he choked on the food that was in his mouth. Quickly, reaching for the orange juice she had put out, he took a large gulp. His eyes were watering and his face red.

"What's the problem Rick?" She teased, "Can't handle the heat?"

He gaped at her, last night she was so cautious and careful and now she was just flirting, unashamed. He had to admit, he liked this side of her and couldn't wait to see what other sides there were.

He slowed down his eating, being careful and cooling each forkful before eating it.

"Coffee?" She asked, reaching for the coffee maker.

"You're making me coffee?" He raised his eyebrows, "I thought that was my job."

"I'm just trying to return all your favours Castle." She said, pouring the hot coffee into his mug and then hers.

She wrapped both hands around the mug and sighed as the heat warmed her hands through the mug. She slowly brought the mug to her lips and took a sip, smiling into it as she noticed Castle watching her in awe.

"You're staring." She commented.

"Are you going to shoot me?" He asked.

"No."

"Then I will stare." He smiled, his eyes moving down her body.

"Castle!" She exclaimed, throwing the dish towel at him.

"Am I not allowed to do that?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I … well … just shut up Castle." She stammered, her face turning red.

He smirked at her flustered state and took a sip of his coffee.

"I think I'm going to have a shower now." She announced, placing her dishes in the sink and moving around the counter.

"Want company?" He asked cheekily.

"Maybe next time." She threw over her shoulder, leaving him speechless.

Yes, he liked this Beckett.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Beckett!" Ryan beamed when she stepped into the bullpen.

"Why are you so cheery?" She asked, taking a seat in her chair, Castle taking a seat in his chair.

"Cause he's gonna be a daddy." Esposito informed them, turning his chair to face her.

"Really? Congratulations dude!" Castle jumped up from his seat to pull his friend in a tight hug.

"That's great Ryan, we're happy for you." Beckett congratulated from her chair.

As Ryan and Castle gushed over Jenny being pregnant, while Esposito scowled at the two for being so excited about a small human, Beckett picked up the pile of files she had on her desk. Surely the captain would take her off of desk duty now, since Josh was behind bars. She flipped through the files, planning to get them all done today.

She was aware of someone's presence beside her, she knew it wasn't Castle. She looked up to see Esposito staring at her concerned.

"Espo?"

"You okay Beckett?" He asked concerned.

"Yes, why?" She turned to him confused.

"Have you seen the news lately?" He asked her.

She hadn't, she had been with Castle for the past two days and they hadn't once looked at the news.

"No. Why?" She asked, feeling nauseous for some reason.

Esposito glanced over to where Ryan and Castle were chatting and brought his eyes back to hers.

"Josh is dead." He told her, watching for a reaction from her.

She didn't know whether to be happy or sad that someone had died. But then she remembered the hell he put her through and she was happy, unashamed and happy. She smiled, much to Esposito's confusion.

"Good." She said, turning back to her work, "How?"

"Killed himself. They found him hanging in his cell." He told her.

She was actually relieved. He was dead and it was surely over. Never again would he hurt her or anyone else. She felt like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders, a weight she didn't realized she carried. She looked up at Castle who was laughing at something Ryan and said and she smiled.

Esposito noticed and looked between the two of them and smiled knowingly, "You and Castle huh?"

She turned her head, prepared to give him her best glare and threats, but she couldn't do anything but smile. "Me and Castle." She looked back at him, suddenly very happy. Anxious for the day that she felt okay enough to give him what he deserved, give him herself. He had bared himself to her and given her his all. He had carried her burdens and stuck by her side. He gave her understanding and he gave her love and she planned to return it all.

"It's about time." Esposito huffed, "Made me lose a lot of money."

"You guys bet on us? Why am I not surprised?" She rolled her eyes.

He shrugged, "Hey, do you have $100 I can borrow? I have to pay Ryan … Unless we don't tell him."

"Do whatever you want to do Esposito, because clearly, you boys have no lives." She laughed.

"But really, I'm happy for you. He's good for you." He told her, serious.

"Yea." She smiled, "Yea he is."

Smiling, Esposito stood, leaving her to gaze lovingly at Castle. Castle looked over at her and their eyes met, the smile fading off of his face as he saw the happiness in her eyes as she looked at him.

Ryan noticed, he lost Castle's attention and smirked when he saw who he lost it to and went to talk to Esposito.

She stood up and walked past him to the break room, never breaking eye contact until she passed him. Automatically, he followed, closing the door behind him.

She launched herself into his arms and hugged him tightly, almost knocking him off of his feet with the force. She held on tightly and buried her face in his chest. His arms instantly went around her, holding her close to him, not sure what brought this on, but taking every moment he had with her.

"Thank you." She murmured.

"For always being there. For not giving up on me. For being you." She raised her head to look at him.

Her tears were bright with unshed tears and he leaned down to kiss her forehead, letting his lips linger there for a second longer.

She sighed and closed her eyes, loving the feeling.

"Anything for you Kate." He whispered.

"Josh is dead." She blurted out.

"What?" He leaned back, staring at her, not sure he heard right.

"He hung himself." She confirmed.

"And how do you feel about this?" He asked cautiously.

"Is it bad that I'm happy?" She asked, biting her cheek.

"No, because I'm happy too. Now he can't hurt you anymore." He said, pulling her back to him.

"You're amazing you know that?" She smiled softly.

"So I've been told, although having it come from you, well it must be true." He joked.

"You are." She was serious, "And I'm sorry I can't give you all of me. I want to so badly."

"Hey, it's okay Kate. I'll wait forever for you. I just want you to be happy." He said solemnly.

"I am, because of you." She tipped up on her toes and pressed her lips to his, kissing him softly. She smiled when he moaned softly, his hand reaching up to tangle in her hair, pulling her closer.

She pulled away, resting her head against his.

"Let's not scar everyone in the precinct okay." She quipped.

"Who cares about them?" He pressed his lips to hers again, kissing her passionately, making her head spin and forgetting how to breathe.

"If I'm going to be in any state for work today, we need to stop." She breathed.

"We could always go home." He breathed, hot against her cheek, making her shudder.

"Some of us have to work for a living." She reminded him, gently pushing him away, when he moved to kiss her neck.

He pouted, "Fine."

She shook her head at his childishness and stepped past him, pulling the door open, aware of the looks Ryan and Esposito were giving them.

"Shut it." She glared at them, walking past them and to the elevator.

"Kate?" Castle called.

"Going to see Lanie." She told him, stepping into the elevator, "I'll be right back."

He nodded, as the elevator closed. She let out a long breath, calming herself from their moment in the break room. She was never one for bringing relationship activities into the workplace, but she just needed him.

The elevator opened and she stepped out into the empty hallway, making her way to the room her friend was in. She pushed the door open, seeing the ME covering up a body she had just examined for another case.

"Hey you," She greeted, "How you been?"

"I'm doing okay." She told her friend.

She paused, thinking how to tell her friend about her and Castle.

"So you finally hooked up with writer boy." She said, with a saucy wink.

"How'd you know?" She asked, tilting her head confused.

"Please girl, I've never seen you look so happy in a long while and I know there's only one person who could bring that out in you again."

She smiled and dipped her head, feeling a bit embarrassed that she was so obvious, but then again, this was Lanie, nothing could get pass her.

"I heard your boy died." Lanie said, in a softer tone.

Kate looked up at her, "Yea, I'm glad." She told her.

Lanie nodded, changing the subject. "So, tell me all the juicy details.. Is he as good as he looks?"

She blushed and shifted her weight, "Well … we haven't … umm ... We haven't actually done that … yet." She admitted.

"Girl, what are you waiting for?" Lanie asked incredulous.

She took a deep breath and looked up at Lanie who was waiting for an explanation.

"Well, he took me on a date. It was perfect Lanie, he was perfect, he sang to me, I didn't even know he could sing so well and that's when I knew I wanted this, wanted him." She paused, letting her friend take in what she had said before she continued. "We left, we danced in the street." She smiled remembering the night.

"Aww, that's so romantic." Lanie gushed.

Then she frowned, when she reached to this part of the story, "We went back to his place and we… well … things got a bit heated and we were about to, but I freaked out." She looked down, avoiding Lanie's eyes.

"Why?" She questioned.

"Because.. It felt too similar. One minute I was with Castle and the next all I could see was him."

"Oh Kate." Her friend crossed the room and hugged her.

"It's okay though, we talked about it. He said he'd wait for me."

"Well of course, he's crazy about you."

"So I've been told."

"Kate, have no doubts that he will wait for you and he loves you. You take your time and you heal yourself, at least you're not pushing him away."

"I know Lanie, I know. This is the fourth time I'm hearing this." She nodded. She needed the reassurance anyways.

"I love him Lanie." She admitted suddenly.

"I know you do." Lanie rested an arm on her shoulder.

"More than I'd care to admit."

Lanie smiled, "Admit it to yourself and nothing will stop you."

Kate smiled at her friend, "Thanks Lanie."

At that moment, her phone chimed. She glanced down at her phone and her lit up instantly.

"It's Castle," She looked at her friend, "Thanks for this Lanie. I'll talk to you later."

"Sure thing girl." Lanie smiled as Kate made her way out of the morgue.

She felt a whole lot better now, more sure of herself and this relationship. Castle had texted her saying they had a case. She knew it before, but the feeling was stronger now, she loved him and he loved her and they were going to do this. She felt hopeful. She entered the bullpen, almost running into Castle who was running into the elevator.

"Castle?" She asked, barely stepping out of his way.

His head whipped around, just noticing her, "Kate! Are you okay?"

"Yes, why?" She asked wondering what he was so flustered about.

"You were gone for too long." He moved closer to her, invading her space.

"Castle, I just went down to the morgue." She assured, leaning into him as the elevator closed the doors with them still inside.

"I know… I just missed you." He breathed.

"I'm right here Castle." She smiled, accepting the kiss he placed on her lips.

He poured out all his emotions in this simple kiss and she was left feeling the level of his love for her and melted in his hands. She leaned into him humming against his lips and threading her fingers through his hair.

She was overwhelmed by the magnitude of his feelings. It hadn't occurred to her how much this affected him. She could feel his fear of losing her again in the way he kissed her and she just wanted to promise him that he would never lose her and make him okay. It had always been him taking care of her, making sure she was okay and cared for. Someone needed to take care of him too.

"I'm not going anywhere." She promised against his lips.

"Promise?" He asked, his voice sounding vulnerable.

She leaned back and looked him in the eyes and placed a hand on his jaw.

"Well, I can't promise you, with my job and all. But I promise I won't do anything stupid and put myself in danger." She told him truthfully.

"I guess I'll have to settle for that." He sighed, breathing against her neck.

The elevator jerked to a stop and opened once again in the morgue hallways. Reaching around, Beckett pushed the button to go up.

"Good. Cause you're stuck with me." She joked.

"You say that like it's a bad thing. I wouldn't want to be stuck with anyone else."

"You're such a softie." She poked him laughing.

"I can assure you detective," He said with a smirk, "Not all parts of me are soft."

She nearly tripped over her own feet coming off of the elevator. Oh, this was going to be a wild ride.

**End A/N: Well, there's that… You know I love your reviews. **

**Ashley **


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